I don't think I've told anyone yet, but they got back together. For what I think would be obvious reasons, we're not too thrilled about this fact.
A few weeks ago, he surprised me by picking me up on the way to Estes Park and offering to carpool. We talked a bit about her and he seems happy. He then proceeded to tell me about how her new job requires that she's on call 24/7 and since she doesn't have a car, this means that he often has to get up in the middle of the night to drive her. What got me was what followed:
HIM: When we're rushing out the door in the middle of the night, I like to pretend that we're rushing her to the hospital.
ME: What do you mean? That's a weird thing to say.
HIM: You know, like she's pregnant and I'm rushing her to the hospital because she has gone into labor.
ME: (OH MY GOD, YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!!) Um... Do you want to have kids with her?
HIM: No, but it's fun to pretend.
ME: UH.
HIM: She likes it too. She thinks it's cute.
ME: UH.
Later that night, we were all sitting around the dinner table and the topic of family pictures came up:
HIM: Since we are all here together, I have an announcement to make.
EVERYONE: (Complete silence... we're not going to like this)
ME: (OH $#!+ OH $#!+ She's pregnant!)
HIM: She wants me to tell you that she would like a copy of one of the family pictures we have taken.
EVERYONE: (Sigh of relief)
ME: That's all?
HIM: Yeah. Is that OK?
Then yesterday, I also just found out that they moved in together. Though I had heard through the grapevine that they were thinking about it, I did not know that it had already happened. When I asked him why he didn't tell me and when he was planning on saying something, his response was "Well you told me I should wait for 6 months, so that's when I was going to tell you."
WHA??? I told you that you should wait and take things slowly before moving in and therefore that time frame is a good time to tell me that you've already been living with her for 6 months? Umm, I'm going to try not to comment on how horrible I think it is is that you're keeping stuff from your family now. Big stuff. It's stupid.
Combining the two details above, I can't help but wonder if there is more he's hiding. I don't like being a drama queen so I will be asking soon, but this could potentially be bad. Very bad. Ugh.
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6 comments:
Well, the bad news is that nothing you say or do will have any bearing on his decisions. That's also the good news! It's out of your hands. You can ask him not to tell you too much and make some limits there.
We all wish we could keep people from potential pain but the thing about life is that we learn by experiencing things ourselves.
haha, he figured he would just tell you later. I learned this the hard way too. If you offer helpful advice, what happens? It's not followed. People do what they want anyway. They just stop telling you about it because they know you'll disapprove.
The best way to offer help then is to be there in a supportive way. And how to do that? By being completely nonjudgmental. Eventually they will open up to you and ask for your thoughts because they know you're not going to be all reactionary like "omg why are you doing that??!!" but instead be like "wow, that must be really hard" or "I can understand why you're confused." (Think therapist here: wwss? What would shrink say? lol.)
oops, my thumb hit "enter" before I finished typing my name...
this guy sounds ridiculous/hilarious
I just read something at Carolyn Hax's column when someone wrote in regarding a friend who wasn't opening up. I wanted to share:
click here.
I don't know why he's reluctant to discuss his life but it could be because he's ashamed/embarrassed of his frailties?
Kevin - you're one of Holly's friends, right?
Isn't it funny how easy it is for one (me in this case) to get instantly defensive from a single, probably innocent, comment from a stranger?
I originally wanted to bear into you and remind you that you had no idea who this guy is or what his story is, but then I realized that you don't know because I haven't told you. You're not to blame. LOL.
You're right. Under most circumstances, the guy comes across as quite different. However, he's always been that way. He's always been different than others because of the way he was born.
Unfortunately that just adds to the frustration. Do you treat him like a normal person (and thus come to the conclusion that he's crazy) or do you give him special treatment and try to explain away his actions?
It's always a constant debate for me, but I'm sure in the end he will be ok and like Spleeness said, he'll do whatever he wants to do regardless.
Thanks for the comment. I didn't know you read this blog!
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