It started off as a good day...

The weather was beautiful and Ellie and I played on the swings. It was a great day.

Too bad it didn't stay that way.

I got a phone call saying I did not get the job I was most excited about. This instantly put me into an OH SHIT mode.

What's that?

You know, it's the mode where I begin to ask myself why the hell did we make this decision? What would possess me and my husband to quit the jobs we like? The stable, well paying jobs?! And to move to a different state, where we find ourselves with a house to sell and not sure if we can afford to buy another here. And me, unemployed. And Daddy in a job where he wonders why they hell they hired him and if he can even accomplish the things they want him to do.

Ugh. I hate feeling like this.

I know the answer is that we did this for the little one. We did it so that we could be closer to the majority of our family. I know that it will all come together and that I'm bound to end up employed again at some point. And surely we won't be homeless with a mortgage payment forever. And Daddy? He's one smart cookie and he'll realize that he can accomplish everything they hired him for and then some.

But today does not look that way at all.

Good but not great

The other day my sister and I were sitting at her kitchen table and going through some cards that she had that are made to encourage conversation. They were filled with questions like "What do you think is the perfect age?" or "Would you rather be deaf or blind?"

"Who is a great inspiration in your life?"

Sister - "Well you inspire me to be a good mother when the time comes."
Me - "Ah, shucks. Thanks!"
Sister - "But I can't think of any great examples."