Posted by a fellow Boulder-Mom:
I dropped off the list for a while, and there has probably been a
flood of chicken pox in my absence... but just to say I am still on
the hunt for infection - and still willing to do whatever I can (host
a tea party!) to pass it on...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Tough Decisions
Michael and I have had a couple tough conversations in the last week regarding my dad drinking again. The problem is that 1. He's drinking again (duh) and 2. He's really good at hiding how much he's had to drink. So after a lot of tough consideration, we finally came to the conclusion that things need to change.
We were hoping that we would be able to leave Ellie with Pappy and Grammie occasionally so that we could go visit places like Branson, MO. However that's not possible anymore. Unfortunately we decided that due to Pappy drinking again, some things have to change.
1. We will not leave her alone with him for any long duration of time. It's not that I think Pappy would do anything to hurt her, but I wouldn't trust anyone who has been drinking to take care of her.
2. We will not allow him to drive with us in the car. Can you imagine how torn up the family would be if something were to happen to Ellie while he was driving? From now on, we drive. Period.
Seriously, the problem stems from the fact that we won't ever really know how much he has been drinking. I think it's unfortunate for us to need to resort to these decisions, but I also think it's a no-brain-er.
On a slightly unrelated topic, I recently became friends with someone who is dealing with the same thing, only locally. Her mother-in-law started drinking again, and she had to take away her weekly afternoon with the grandkids. At least I don't have to deal with it on a regular basis. I only have to worry about it on the occasional times that we are fortunate enough to see Pappy. It could be worse.
We were hoping that we would be able to leave Ellie with Pappy and Grammie occasionally so that we could go visit places like Branson, MO. However that's not possible anymore. Unfortunately we decided that due to Pappy drinking again, some things have to change.
1. We will not leave her alone with him for any long duration of time. It's not that I think Pappy would do anything to hurt her, but I wouldn't trust anyone who has been drinking to take care of her.
2. We will not allow him to drive with us in the car. Can you imagine how torn up the family would be if something were to happen to Ellie while he was driving? From now on, we drive. Period.
Seriously, the problem stems from the fact that we won't ever really know how much he has been drinking. I think it's unfortunate for us to need to resort to these decisions, but I also think it's a no-brain-er.
On a slightly unrelated topic, I recently became friends with someone who is dealing with the same thing, only locally. Her mother-in-law started drinking again, and she had to take away her weekly afternoon with the grandkids. At least I don't have to deal with it on a regular basis. I only have to worry about it on the occasional times that we are fortunate enough to see Pappy. It could be worse.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Life examples
I always figured that part of the reason I don't smoke, nor do my siblings or cousins (on my dad's side) was because we saw what my grandpa went through. Apparently the family thought he was near the end when I went to visit him as a newborn. Every year we'd go and see them and would be told "Now kids, this may be the last time we see Grandpa." I guess since we were told so often, we never really believed it. Maybe death is always a surprise. Anyway, he finally ended up passing when I was a Sophomore in college. What a long, drawn-out painful death.
I know he affected my decision to not smoke and I've never lit a single cigarette, nor have I even come close to wanting to. However, I've wondered what it will be like for my children. They won't have a grandpa to show them the dangers of cigarettes.
But I guess they will have one to show them the dangers of alcoholism. Grandpa has started drinking again. As a disclaimer, I should say that it is only on "special occasions" (according to him) and that it's not a problem right now. Key words are "right now". I guess only time will tell where it will end up. Am I a horrible person if I say that on the bright side, my children will have an example of the dangers of alcohol?
Yes. I think I may be.
I know he affected my decision to not smoke and I've never lit a single cigarette, nor have I even come close to wanting to. However, I've wondered what it will be like for my children. They won't have a grandpa to show them the dangers of cigarettes.
But I guess they will have one to show them the dangers of alcoholism. Grandpa has started drinking again. As a disclaimer, I should say that it is only on "special occasions" (according to him) and that it's not a problem right now. Key words are "right now". I guess only time will tell where it will end up. Am I a horrible person if I say that on the bright side, my children will have an example of the dangers of alcohol?
Yes. I think I may be.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Moody Ellie
I'm not really sure what to do about this, so I've decided to vent about it as a solution. =)
Grandma has a habit that bothers me, though I'm not really sure why.
There really is no doubt that Ellie is getting closer and closer to the "terrible twos" because she has started to do things like refuse to get dressed, or stay still during a diaper change. It's all normal, I'm sure, and I'm trying to introduce choices in her daily routine in hopes of helping the situation. So far, it isn't anything major, very few actual break downs. She just usually complains and twists and turns a lot.
So what does this have to do with Grandma? It's her comments that bother me.
"Hey, there is no need for that!"
Yes, there is a need. She doesn't want to get dressed. She doesn't want to stop playing to get her diaper changed. She doesn't want to eat a banana, she'd rather eat peaches but she doesn't know how to tell you. There is always a *need* for a toddler's reactions. I'm sure it's frustrating for them to have these feelings of independence without being able to express them.
"Boy, you're a grump today!"
Yes, but do you need to bring more attention to it? I find that children will be what you say they are (something I learned from Grandma) and if you say they're a grump, they will stay that way. The quicker I change the subject and move on to the next activity, the quicker her attitude changes.
"You are a strong willed, little monster, aren't you?"
See comment above.
"I don't think I like you when you're grumpy."
You don't like her? You DON'T LIKE her? No, say something like "I don't like this behavior" but not "her!" Granted, Grandma usually fixes this in her next sentence or two, but the damage I think is already done.
Everything Grandma says is true. It is hard to deal with her at time and she can be a grump. So that's why I don't know what to say, because it bothers me when she makes comments like that, but I feel like I can not fault her in saying the thoughts we're all thinking.
Grandma has a habit that bothers me, though I'm not really sure why.
There really is no doubt that Ellie is getting closer and closer to the "terrible twos" because she has started to do things like refuse to get dressed, or stay still during a diaper change. It's all normal, I'm sure, and I'm trying to introduce choices in her daily routine in hopes of helping the situation. So far, it isn't anything major, very few actual break downs. She just usually complains and twists and turns a lot.
So what does this have to do with Grandma? It's her comments that bother me.
"Hey, there is no need for that!"
Yes, there is a need. She doesn't want to get dressed. She doesn't want to stop playing to get her diaper changed. She doesn't want to eat a banana, she'd rather eat peaches but she doesn't know how to tell you. There is always a *need* for a toddler's reactions. I'm sure it's frustrating for them to have these feelings of independence without being able to express them.
"Boy, you're a grump today!"
Yes, but do you need to bring more attention to it? I find that children will be what you say they are (something I learned from Grandma) and if you say they're a grump, they will stay that way. The quicker I change the subject and move on to the next activity, the quicker her attitude changes.
"You are a strong willed, little monster, aren't you?"
See comment above.
"I don't think I like you when you're grumpy."
You don't like her? You DON'T LIKE her? No, say something like "I don't like this behavior" but not "her!" Granted, Grandma usually fixes this in her next sentence or two, but the damage I think is already done.
Everything Grandma says is true. It is hard to deal with her at time and she can be a grump. So that's why I don't know what to say, because it bothers me when she makes comments like that, but I feel like I can not fault her in saying the thoughts we're all thinking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
