Wednesday, April 25, 2012
My huband...
My husband is always the "better man." He's the one who always "makes it go right" for whatever reason-du-jour that the situation may have. He does this for me, I'm sure. But you know what? Sometimes I think he shouldn't have to. He said it best: "Sometimes I wish I could be right, rather than always having to justify my opinion, or retract it, or apologize." Sigh. I hope he knows I agree.
Friday, April 20, 2012
When in doubt... cry.
We know a girl, who for better or worse, we spend a lot of time with. She is exactly one week older than Ellie and her brother is 9 months older than Addie. On the surface it looks like a great set up. These kids will grow up together and could possibly be very close for it. In theory I want this. I want my kids to have this type of relationship because they certainly are not going to have any real cousins.
... but in reality? It kind of bites.
These kids are far more wild and misbehaved than our own. We often struggle with our girls just a little more after we've ever spent time with the kids. It seems that our girls try to see if they can get away with just as much. I see this only getting worse as they get older.
But it's more than that. It's more than the influence that they have over my girls that makes me question the "better or worse" part of my first sentence.
Michael has always been very good with children. It's one of the things that made me fall in love with him. Whenever we're at birthday parties, Michael (along with Brynn's father) is the one who has swarms of kids attacking him from every angle, trying to get their turn for his attention. They love him and rightfully so. He's fun. Everyone likes him. The other parents are thankful for him.
But this girl... This girl has learned one thing in life. When in doubt... cry. She has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to apologize. She has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to say please or thank you. In fact, she has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to use any words at all. Whether she doesn't have to say she's sorry because obviously she feels bad, or she doesn't have to say "please" because she's obviously scared... well either is BS. No, she doesn't have to use her words because she has learned that if she whines enough than all the adults around her feel sorry for her and back off.
What happened this time? Michael was rough housing with her and her brother, but like every time before, if something ever goes differently than she wants it to, she breaks down. Michael grabbed her brother's hands and tickled him. The girl laughed. Michael grabbed her hands and said "Ah ha! Now I've got you both!" She started to cry.
It's not the first time that something like this has happened with her. It just seems to happen every time either of us play with her in any manner that is joking or somewhat typical "rough housing."
The result?
We've concluded that Michael is banned from playing with the kids. Ridiculous? Probably, but I see it as the only way to avoid future conflicts. And it's so unfortunate too because the kids will want to play with him. They always do.
This weekend is Ellie's birthday party and Michael (along with Brynn's dad) is bound to play with the kids, as he should. There will be squeals of delight and lots of laughter and splashes. But he will not include these two children. Why? Because if he does, he's bound to get into trouble.
And if he doesn't, they're bound to feel left out. Suck.
... but in reality? It kind of bites.
These kids are far more wild and misbehaved than our own. We often struggle with our girls just a little more after we've ever spent time with the kids. It seems that our girls try to see if they can get away with just as much. I see this only getting worse as they get older.
But it's more than that. It's more than the influence that they have over my girls that makes me question the "better or worse" part of my first sentence.
Michael has always been very good with children. It's one of the things that made me fall in love with him. Whenever we're at birthday parties, Michael (along with Brynn's father) is the one who has swarms of kids attacking him from every angle, trying to get their turn for his attention. They love him and rightfully so. He's fun. Everyone likes him. The other parents are thankful for him.
But this girl... This girl has learned one thing in life. When in doubt... cry. She has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to apologize. She has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to say please or thank you. In fact, she has learned that if she cries long enough she doesn't have to use any words at all. Whether she doesn't have to say she's sorry because obviously she feels bad, or she doesn't have to say "please" because she's obviously scared... well either is BS. No, she doesn't have to use her words because she has learned that if she whines enough than all the adults around her feel sorry for her and back off.
What happened this time? Michael was rough housing with her and her brother, but like every time before, if something ever goes differently than she wants it to, she breaks down. Michael grabbed her brother's hands and tickled him. The girl laughed. Michael grabbed her hands and said "Ah ha! Now I've got you both!" She started to cry.
It's not the first time that something like this has happened with her. It just seems to happen every time either of us play with her in any manner that is joking or somewhat typical "rough housing."
The result?
We've concluded that Michael is banned from playing with the kids. Ridiculous? Probably, but I see it as the only way to avoid future conflicts. And it's so unfortunate too because the kids will want to play with him. They always do.
This weekend is Ellie's birthday party and Michael (along with Brynn's dad) is bound to play with the kids, as he should. There will be squeals of delight and lots of laughter and splashes. But he will not include these two children. Why? Because if he does, he's bound to get into trouble.
And if he doesn't, they're bound to feel left out. Suck.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Proud Mommy
Last weekend we had dinner with a bunch of people. Details of who are not important. At dinner there was two large tables of adults and one small table of kids. My girl, Ellie (Addie was home sick) and 4 others resulted in ages ranging from 3-10 years old.
The kids were crazy. Many of the boys kept getting up and throwing stuff at each other and laughing and giggling. The other girl was no better and thought it was great fun to stick her feet into their faces. Basically, they were doing anything other than eating.
Poor Ellie, I could see that she was trying to have a polite meal. She sat there and just looked appalled at the behavoir the other kids were having. To make matters worse, it's not like she even liked the food. She was just trying to NOT eat her food in the most respectful manner possible.
Eventually Ellie spoke up. She had had enough. "Can you please stop that? It's not very polite." I had a Proud Mommy moment and the kids settled down.
For 2 or 3 minutes.
When the ruckus started up again, Ellie sent me a woeful look of defeat and I asked her if she would like to join the grown-up table. The look of relief on her face said it all.
Ellie: They're not being very polite, why isn't anyone saying anything?
Mommy: I don't know. They're not my kids, but I'm so happy that you're being polite and I'm VERY proud of you for trying to tell the other kids that they weren't.
Later that night we told Daddy about what happened.
Ellie: Did that suprise you Daddy?
Daddy: No, it did not surprise me at all that you were so nice and polite, but I AM very proud of you.
Ellie went to bed that night shining brighter for it.
The kids were crazy. Many of the boys kept getting up and throwing stuff at each other and laughing and giggling. The other girl was no better and thought it was great fun to stick her feet into their faces. Basically, they were doing anything other than eating.
Poor Ellie, I could see that she was trying to have a polite meal. She sat there and just looked appalled at the behavoir the other kids were having. To make matters worse, it's not like she even liked the food. She was just trying to NOT eat her food in the most respectful manner possible.
Eventually Ellie spoke up. She had had enough. "Can you please stop that? It's not very polite." I had a Proud Mommy moment and the kids settled down.
For 2 or 3 minutes.
When the ruckus started up again, Ellie sent me a woeful look of defeat and I asked her if she would like to join the grown-up table. The look of relief on her face said it all.
Ellie: They're not being very polite, why isn't anyone saying anything?
Mommy: I don't know. They're not my kids, but I'm so happy that you're being polite and I'm VERY proud of you for trying to tell the other kids that they weren't.
Later that night we told Daddy about what happened.
Ellie: Did that suprise you Daddy?
Daddy: No, it did not surprise me at all that you were so nice and polite, but I AM very proud of you.
Ellie went to bed that night shining brighter for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
