Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Keeping my identity a secret...

Google is just too good. It keeps a record of old posts and stuff, so even though I believe I have taken off any specific mentioning of my other blog, it still comes up when I search for it. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it does, but comes up further down the list than the other blog. Today I searched, and this secret blog was the top option. Hmmm...

So... My question to you... Do I worry about it? Do I start making you guys log in to read this blog? Do I just wait it out and see what happens? Presumably those I'm concerned about already know the address of my other blog, so why would they ever Google it?

Give me your thoughts. I'd love to hear if you'd be willing to do the extra step of logging in, or what you'd do if you were me.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gray Hairs

Please do not take it upon yourself to yank out any gray hairs you might see on my head. Yes, I know some of them exist. I'm convinced it's from a process called aging combined with the effects of motherhood. I don't care about them. They are a part of who I am, so please do not feel like you are doing me a favor by pulling them out. Besides, I know you got a couple innocent strands of brown hair while attacking the gray one you aimed for, and what did they ever do to deserve that?

Eeek...

I just did a google search for my other blog and realized that this one comes up relatively close to the top of the list. It's on the first page anyway. I think I need to do some cleaning-up to try to fix that problem.

I just don't think I'm ready for family members to stumble on this site yet. I know the day will come eventually, but hopefully not soon. Take my sister, for example, I think that she would have a much better appreciation and understanding for why I feel like I need this secret blog once she becomes a mother herself. Until then, it's a scary thought. Who knows.

But I'm going to start cleaning-up any trace of my identity. Let's hope it works.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

WANTED: Friends

I had an epiphany yesterday. It happened while trying to convince myself that it was silly to be upset about finding out a friend has had a blog for over 6 months now without letting me know (J - if you're reading this, please don't fret). Logically, I knew there was nothing to be upset about. For whatever reason, she just didn't tell anyone about the blog. But I couldn't help it.

Remember my last pregnancy when I thought the world was coming to an end because I couldn't return a $5 box of Christmas cards? Like then, I am convinced that I was so upset because of stupid hormones. They suck. Seriously, hormones are way over-rated.

Back to the point, Reffin!

I realized yesterday that this is just about exactly the point in my first pregnancy where I felt a strong need to find closer friends. I searched desperately and ended up hanging out with a few great gals to scrapbook.

I'm feeling that same need now. It's strong. Usually I'm completely happy with my friend situation. I have a few close friends who I don't see nearly as often as I'd like, but when we do see each other - it's fantastic. I'm usually ok with that.

But there is this calling (and it's happened in both pregnancies now) where I am actually depressed that I don't have a best friend I can hang out with on a regular basis.

Hmmm... I find it interesting that the closest I've gotten to having strange pregnancy cravings is that I crave a tattoo and a best friend.


DISCLAIMER: For all my friends out there - you're wonderful. Keep it up! I'm not even sure that what I am craving is possible while being a Mommy at the same time. It's not you. It's me. LOL. Love ya! =)

Monday, May 18, 2009

There's a difference, people!

Ok, for those of you who don't know - There is a difference between fat shirts and pregnancy shirts. I know it's hard to believe but a pregnant woman is not necessarily fat and believe it or not, those shirts still look big even if she's 9 months pregnant!

It's all about the cut. Pregnancy clothing is designed to fit a woman who (for the most part) is only big in the tummy (and boobs, we can't forget those). Extra-large shirts are designed for extra large people, who (for the most part) are extra large everywhere.

Please don't give me the clothes you once wore when you were overweight or in a grunge baggy phase thinking that they'd look great on me. Trust me, even right before my due date, I'd still feel like I was swimming in that shirt.

Thank you.

P.S. I might be hormonally pregnant today. Try giving me the shirt tomorrow. Better yet, let's just forget the whole thing ever happened.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Great, but inappropriate presents

I've been meaning to write about this for a while but apparently it's not a huge deal so I keep forgetting to do so.

So my problem is that Pappy and Grammie keep giving Ellie great gifts. You're probably wondering why that's an issue. It's an issue because the great gifts are almost always for an age group two years older than Ellie's age.

The reason they keep doing this is that they have another grand-daughter and they want to get the two girls the same gift. However, the other girl is 2.5 years older than Ellie.

Some examples?

When we were moving away from MD (right after Christmas time), Ellie got a big plastic slide for the yard. This particular present annoyed us for more reasons than just the age recommendation. We were in the middle of having our house on the market and had no place to store a big slide, yet we didn't want to set it up because of the house showings and the fact that we were hoping to move in a couple weeks. Getting the slide initiated our decision to get a big storage unit for a bunch of stuff. Anyway, the slide was rated for 3 years and older. Ellie had just learned how to crawl (8 months).

Another Christmas present (again at 8 months) was a cute little pink luggage bag on wheels. We actually have gotten quite a bit of use out of it, but not until long after Ellie started walking!

For her first birthday, Ellie got a tea set, rated for ages 3 and older. We actually use the tea set all the time and love it. However, it's made of porcelain and Ellie is definitely more rough with it than I'm comfortable with. She's just at that age where she likes to explore what happens when she hits things together rougher than normal use. A plastic or tin tea set would have been great.

The following Christmas (20 months), Ellie got a talking Elmo doll. Again, the rating was for children 3 and older. I think the biggest reason for waiting until that age is that Ellie was terrified about a talking toy. We've had to put it in storage for a while.

For her 2nd birthday, Ellie got a game console that turns our TV into a gaming station. She is definitely not old enough to understand how to control the characters in the games, so it ends up being Mommy or Daddy playing and Ellie watching. It's rated for 4 and older.

They really are great presents, but just not applicable to Ellie's age. The frustrating thing about it is that we can't just store it right away. As soon as Ellie sees the toy, she wants to play with it. Then she gets frustrated once we try to play with it. I'm sure that the toys will become some of Ellie's favorites (a couple years of counseling, she should be able to get over her fear of the Elmo doll), but I just wish they could buy Ellie presents that match Ellie. Not her older cousin.

Eventually the age difference won't matter between the two girls. However, even then I'd like for the grandparents to get her something that matches *HER* personality instead of her cousin's. I recall being annoyed whenever my family members lumped my sister and I into the same person and I can totally see that happening in this situation.

So there's my vent of the day. Take it or leave it. Actually, now that you've read the whole thing, I guess you have to take it. Sorry about that. =)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The break-up

Well they broke up. I should say she broke up with him. She sent him a text saying "I did it again. I don't deserve you." and he hasn't heard from her since.

He's pretty torn up about it. It's his first break up - his first broken heart. I think over all he's handling it pretty well but he's still miserable and lonely again.

You know how it is when you break up with someone that the rest of the family did not really like. When my relationship with my ex went horribly wrong, it really annoyed me and even pissed me off how my family would say things like "you'll find someone better" or "he doesn't deserve you" or "you'll see that this is a good thing." Why would any of that stuff matter? What mattered is that my heart was broken.

Sadly I wish I could say I'm not saying those things to this guy about his ex. I'm discovering that no matter how much I don't want to say them because I know they're not what he needs to hear, I just don't know what else to say.

I would love to know the real reason for the break up too, but that's never going to happen either, is it? For the time being, though, he's broken and I need to acknowledge that and not try to instantly fix him.

Friday, May 1, 2009

New blog

I put a link to a new blog on my main blog but I'll be honest and say that I'm not completely thrilled that it exists. It's stupid, I know, but I'm pregnant so it's ok.

The problem is that it's a blog for the girl who was born on the same day as Ellie and no matter how hard I try I tend to compare the two girls too much. But there is something about the fact that they were born on the same day that makes it hard to not look at her and compare her to Ellie.

I think really that's not even the problem. The problem is that her Mommy decided to stay home instead of returning to work, and even though I know that daycare is good for Ellie, there is a part of me that is jealous of the time my friend gets to spend with her daughter. This story sums it up well.

So I've now added her blog because yes I do want to keep up with it and yes her daughter is adorable. But feel free to tell me mine is better. Oh, and for her daughter's big girl room, she also happened to pick the bedding that I originally wanted (the one I ordered that was back-ordered until June), so feel free to tell me Ellie's room is cuter. LOL.

Hahaha. I hope everyone knows that I'm mostly kidding. In a "I know I'm being stupid" sort of way.