Last time I wrote about a comment that my mom made that ticked me off. I don't really mean for this blog to be a venting arena towards the things that my mom does or says, but it certainly seems to be that way.
The other day she went into the closet to get Addie from a nap (she's been sleeping in the closet to keep from waking Ellie up and because she sleeps better in the dark) and she comes back and says (with a smile) "I saw Addie sleeping in her car seat in the dark closet and I couldn't help but think to myself that this has got to be some form of chil_d a_buse."
When I was 8.5 months pregnant, she told me about some nasty stretch marks that my brother's girlfriend has. One, it was tacky to say such things about her because she doesn't have the means to fix the stretch marks she has. People can't control where or how badly they get stretch marks. But, considering the comment - it's not what you say to a super pregnant woman who might be (and happens to be) dealing with a similar issue.
Ugh. Why has my mom become this way? What happened to her?
Could it be the depression? Should I continue with the real purpose of this post?
She once again commented on my attitude about taking care of the baby. She said it out of concern, and I understand that, but she said she was worried about me having postpartum depression. I will admit that I get emotional easily, especially if I'm really tired, but why does she keep having these type of conversations after I just had a bad night with the baby?
I told her that I really did not feel depressed that I was happy, just tired. Her response was, "well, what do you think depression feels like?" in a "Ha, I just proved myself right" sort of tone. Ok, fair enough. She knows better than I do what depression feels like, but surely there is a difference between being tired and being depressed. I would think that you'd first make sure you have no reason to be tired, and then if you still are you'd investigate why.
Addie was up every 30 minutes from 2:00-5:00 AM the previous couple nights. She was only taking 20 minute naps during the day. I was tired. I feel like I have a legitimate reason for just wanting to sleep.
But what do I know? I don't really know anything about depression and I do appreciate her concern. Really.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
You're beginning to sound like me
While Mother was over spending a few minutes with us last night I found that I had a hard time not getting frustrated with her. This is unfortunate because I was hoping it would be easier this time around since she's not "staying with us" whenever she stops by to help.
Anyway, I am amazed that she always seems so surprised to find out that I'm tired. She'll call me on the phone and say "You sound tired?!?!" To which I have to think "No $#!+ Sherlock... I have a newborn to take care of." This happens just about every time I see her or get a phone call from her. It gets tiring. Excuse the pun.
Last night she was here talking to me while I was feeding Addie. I made a comment about how I was tired and looking forward to when Addie would be bigger and have more of a cute personality like Ellie has. Mother said "Now you're beginning to sound like me. I never enjoyed parenthood because I always thought it was too much work. You should be enjoying this moment because it won't last."
Oh no, you don't. You're not going to lecture me about making sure I appreciate parenthood and how quickly these little ones grow up. Why do you think I have a blog??? Sure, I take time for granted at times... who doesn't? But I really do feel like I do a better job of appreciating these brief moments than most people do. And if others appreciate them as much, I certainly document them more than most parents so that one day I can go back and be reminded of the cute moments. Most parents forget about them, simply because there are too many of them to remember. But I keep a blog. I write as often as I can and notice so many things about my daughter (and second daughter to come) that I feel like I wouldn't normally.
So don't you lecture me about enjoying parenthood. There is a difference between being tired and being ungrateful. I'm sorry to hear that we were so difficult on you and that you were not a happy mother when we were young, but please do not assume the same of me just because I acknowledge how much I'm looking forward to spending time with Addie when she's a little older.
Whew. I guess I needed to get that one off my chest. I think my hormones are still flying. Maybe I should be napping with Addie right now instead. LOL.
Anyway, I am amazed that she always seems so surprised to find out that I'm tired. She'll call me on the phone and say "You sound tired?!?!" To which I have to think "No $#!+ Sherlock... I have a newborn to take care of." This happens just about every time I see her or get a phone call from her. It gets tiring. Excuse the pun.
Last night she was here talking to me while I was feeding Addie. I made a comment about how I was tired and looking forward to when Addie would be bigger and have more of a cute personality like Ellie has. Mother said "Now you're beginning to sound like me. I never enjoyed parenthood because I always thought it was too much work. You should be enjoying this moment because it won't last."
Oh no, you don't. You're not going to lecture me about making sure I appreciate parenthood and how quickly these little ones grow up. Why do you think I have a blog??? Sure, I take time for granted at times... who doesn't? But I really do feel like I do a better job of appreciating these brief moments than most people do. And if others appreciate them as much, I certainly document them more than most parents so that one day I can go back and be reminded of the cute moments. Most parents forget about them, simply because there are too many of them to remember. But I keep a blog. I write as often as I can and notice so many things about my daughter (and second daughter to come) that I feel like I wouldn't normally.
So don't you lecture me about enjoying parenthood. There is a difference between being tired and being ungrateful. I'm sorry to hear that we were so difficult on you and that you were not a happy mother when we were young, but please do not assume the same of me just because I acknowledge how much I'm looking forward to spending time with Addie when she's a little older.
Whew. I guess I needed to get that one off my chest. I think my hormones are still flying. Maybe I should be napping with Addie right now instead. LOL.
Friday, October 23, 2009
* Sweet Dreams
I'd say I've done a pretty good job of not getting on my mom's case about being late with the nursery. She's really been helpful and I want her to know I appreciate her efforts, but I also feel like she has been slacking when it comes to preparing for this second baby.
That's all.
That's all.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Ellie's Parents
I'm not sure if I can put my finger on what Ellie's parents are doing right in regards to their marriage, but so far so good. I wish I could say the same about the other two family marriages that also occurred in 2004. Though I suspected one of them to have their challenges, I never thought they'd both be nearing divorce only 5 years later.
It really has me looking at my own marriage. I don't know what it is we are doing right but I do feel like things are going strong (I certainly hope Michael feels the same... lol). I hope that whatever it is we're doing, it is giving Ellie a good example of what she deserves in her own future.
When I try to analyze the situation and find common issues in the other marriages (which already I know is unfair because each situation is different), one of the main common traits I come up with is that they have both been keeping their finances separate. This concept never made sense to me because I feel like it's more of a room mate situation than a soul mate.
Does a marriage have to be one of "what's yours is mine and mine is yours" or is it possible to work with "what's yours is yours and mine is mine - don't ask don't tell" environment? From my limited data sample, it seems to me that the unity of a marriage is key, and I think it's key for one reason - equality.
Can you really have equality in a relationship if you're worried about each other doing their share? Now that I think about it - it's a little contradicting, isn't it? If you worry about each partner doing their share then you officially end up with equality. On paper. But I think it backfires on you when you're discussing equality in respect for each other.
Hmm... I'm going to have to think about that one a little more. Whatever it is that Ellie's parents are doing right in their marriage, I'd like to keep it that way. It would be helpful to know what the secret is, though. What's your secret to a happy marriage?
Ha ha ha... Please don't tell me that the secret to your happy marriage is sleep. That will be going away again very very soon, if not already. Sleep might be the second key to a good marriage, though. =)
It really has me looking at my own marriage. I don't know what it is we are doing right but I do feel like things are going strong (I certainly hope Michael feels the same... lol). I hope that whatever it is we're doing, it is giving Ellie a good example of what she deserves in her own future.
When I try to analyze the situation and find common issues in the other marriages (which already I know is unfair because each situation is different), one of the main common traits I come up with is that they have both been keeping their finances separate. This concept never made sense to me because I feel like it's more of a room mate situation than a soul mate.
Does a marriage have to be one of "what's yours is mine and mine is yours" or is it possible to work with "what's yours is yours and mine is mine - don't ask don't tell" environment? From my limited data sample, it seems to me that the unity of a marriage is key, and I think it's key for one reason - equality.
Can you really have equality in a relationship if you're worried about each other doing their share? Now that I think about it - it's a little contradicting, isn't it? If you worry about each partner doing their share then you officially end up with equality. On paper. But I think it backfires on you when you're discussing equality in respect for each other.
Hmm... I'm going to have to think about that one a little more. Whatever it is that Ellie's parents are doing right in their marriage, I'd like to keep it that way. It would be helpful to know what the secret is, though. What's your secret to a happy marriage?
Ha ha ha... Please don't tell me that the secret to your happy marriage is sleep. That will be going away again very very soon, if not already. Sleep might be the second key to a good marriage, though. =)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
In the labor room
When Ellie was born, my mom planned a road trip with her sister to bring a bunch of stuff out to us. The plan was to take their time heading across the country and arrive in Maryland in time for the baby's birth. Since Ellie came a little early, this plan didn't last long and turned into a mad dash across the country in bad weather. My mom was upset that she "didn't make it in time" and I always somewhat questioned what the big deal was because the baby was only a few hours old when she did arrive.
I never really made the connection that she was actually trying to make it in time to **WATCH** the birth and to be present in the room with us.
Until now.
She asked if she could be present for Baby II's birth and I told her that we wanted it to be just the two of us. It was obvious that she was hurt by this and now I question ow important it really is to her.
Is it weird that I don't think I want my mom to be there? In the past, the mother-to-be would often want her mom to be there because she's been there and done that. But that's can't even be said about my mom (all three of us were c-sections).
I don't think it would be bad having her there. I'm sure she would try her hardest to make sure she stayed out of the way and helped in any way she could.
But we do question the effect she would have, mainly in regards to Michael. Michael would be concerned that with my mom there, he would find himself wondering what to do himself. That is the down-side to a well-intentioned helper. It leaves little for others to help out with.
He also questions the effect she would have on my decision for an epidural. We'd like to go as long as possible without one, but he acknowledges that I'm very persuasive. I'll agree with whoever I'm talking to at a given point in time, and my mom definitely affects many of my decisions and viewpoints. Michael fears that with him and the doula encouraging me that I can continue without an epidural, if there is a third voice in the room (especially if that voice is my mom's) saying something along the lines of "maybe now **is** the time" then I would lean towards believing that viewpoint.
Anyway, I didn't mean to go into too many details. I'm just wondering in this day and age, how common is it to have your mother in the room with you while you give birth? Did you? Would you? It's a tough question I think.
I never really made the connection that she was actually trying to make it in time to **WATCH** the birth and to be present in the room with us.
Until now.
She asked if she could be present for Baby II's birth and I told her that we wanted it to be just the two of us. It was obvious that she was hurt by this and now I question ow important it really is to her.
Is it weird that I don't think I want my mom to be there? In the past, the mother-to-be would often want her mom to be there because she's been there and done that. But that's can't even be said about my mom (all three of us were c-sections).
I don't think it would be bad having her there. I'm sure she would try her hardest to make sure she stayed out of the way and helped in any way she could.
But we do question the effect she would have, mainly in regards to Michael. Michael would be concerned that with my mom there, he would find himself wondering what to do himself. That is the down-side to a well-intentioned helper. It leaves little for others to help out with.
He also questions the effect she would have on my decision for an epidural. We'd like to go as long as possible without one, but he acknowledges that I'm very persuasive. I'll agree with whoever I'm talking to at a given point in time, and my mom definitely affects many of my decisions and viewpoints. Michael fears that with him and the doula encouraging me that I can continue without an epidural, if there is a third voice in the room (especially if that voice is my mom's) saying something along the lines of "maybe now **is** the time" then I would lean towards believing that viewpoint.
Anyway, I didn't mean to go into too many details. I'm just wondering in this day and age, how common is it to have your mother in the room with you while you give birth? Did you? Would you? It's a tough question I think.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The names
If you had asked me Friday morning what name my baby would have if it's a boy, I would have told you that I was going to talk my husband into using Danick.
We love the name Danica for a girl (we just like Adeline better) and love the meaning it has. Danica means "Morning Star" but could also have the nickname of Danny that we really like.
If you take Danica and turn it into a boy's name, Danick is the result. No, I didn't make it up. It's a real name. There are people out there who respond to "Hey, Danick!"
I thought the best part of the name was that we could use "Nikki" for a nickname (from my Grandpa) and Danick itself is less popular than Dominic.
But when we were eliminating names from our list, my hubby pointed out the fact, plain and simple... if we picked Danick for the boy in hopes of using Nikki as a nickname, his family would use Danny instead.
His uncle's name was Dan and he died a decade ago. My hubby pointed out that even if we picked the name Danick for my grandpa, his family wouldn't see it that way. He flat out said "Will bother you that they call him Danny when you were really hoping for Nikki?"
The answer is yes. Yes it would, which is weird because I even like the nickname Danny. But it would be frustrating for me (and I'm sure our son) if my family called him Nikki, Michael's family called him Danny and we called him Danick because, like with Ellie, that's how we see him.
It's a shame, though, because I liked the name a lot. But my hubby is right. He knows me too well. It would bother me too much to go that route.
A note to Cracker's Mom: I totally see your point in the nicknames potentially being a negative when it comes to naming a child. Sigh.
We love the name Danica for a girl (we just like Adeline better) and love the meaning it has. Danica means "Morning Star" but could also have the nickname of Danny that we really like.
If you take Danica and turn it into a boy's name, Danick is the result. No, I didn't make it up. It's a real name. There are people out there who respond to "Hey, Danick!"
I thought the best part of the name was that we could use "Nikki" for a nickname (from my Grandpa) and Danick itself is less popular than Dominic.
But when we were eliminating names from our list, my hubby pointed out the fact, plain and simple... if we picked Danick for the boy in hopes of using Nikki as a nickname, his family would use Danny instead.
His uncle's name was Dan and he died a decade ago. My hubby pointed out that even if we picked the name Danick for my grandpa, his family wouldn't see it that way. He flat out said "Will bother you that they call him Danny when you were really hoping for Nikki?"
The answer is yes. Yes it would, which is weird because I even like the nickname Danny. But it would be frustrating for me (and I'm sure our son) if my family called him Nikki, Michael's family called him Danny and we called him Danick because, like with Ellie, that's how we see him.
It's a shame, though, because I liked the name a lot. But my hubby is right. He knows me too well. It would bother me too much to go that route.
A note to Cracker's Mom: I totally see your point in the nicknames potentially being a negative when it comes to naming a child. Sigh.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Love and Logic - learning at an affordable price
Sorry for giving no solid details about what is leading me to write these things, but feel free to email me personally if you want to discuss it...
One of the key points that I think the ideas behind Love & Logic focus on is learning big life lessons when the price is small. Teach your kids how to pay off debt when the amount they owe you is only $5. Teach your kids that if they don't have the $10 to buy the latest and greatest toy, then they need to wait to earn the money. Maybe they could even do extra work to get the money faster? Teach the kid that if they don't keep ahead in debt then they might just have to give that special toy back.
The thought is that it's better to learn those types of lessons when the consequence is low than it is to learn later in life when the price is big (or even in some lessons - dangerous).
I have this inherent desire to help people, especially those in need and those who are close to me. But recently I've wondered how it's even possible to help someone who has gotten so far down the path they're in. When will that lesson be learned for them? Apparently not now. I can only sit back and hope that she makes it out OK, but I can't help but think about the enormous amounts of money that could be saved if she learned how to properly use her piggy bank decades ago.
Do you think Ellie is old enough to start learning about saving her money?
MJH - I'm not sure how often you read my blogs anymore, but if you read this, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it and at what age you started to work on teaching your little ones about money. I seem to recall it being a topic of discussion earlier, so maybe I'll search through your older comments.
UPDATE: Here is a link to some cool piggy banks and ideas that Mani sent me. Thanks!
One of the key points that I think the ideas behind Love & Logic focus on is learning big life lessons when the price is small. Teach your kids how to pay off debt when the amount they owe you is only $5. Teach your kids that if they don't have the $10 to buy the latest and greatest toy, then they need to wait to earn the money. Maybe they could even do extra work to get the money faster? Teach the kid that if they don't keep ahead in debt then they might just have to give that special toy back.
The thought is that it's better to learn those types of lessons when the consequence is low than it is to learn later in life when the price is big (or even in some lessons - dangerous).
I have this inherent desire to help people, especially those in need and those who are close to me. But recently I've wondered how it's even possible to help someone who has gotten so far down the path they're in. When will that lesson be learned for them? Apparently not now. I can only sit back and hope that she makes it out OK, but I can't help but think about the enormous amounts of money that could be saved if she learned how to properly use her piggy bank decades ago.
Do you think Ellie is old enough to start learning about saving her money?
MJH - I'm not sure how often you read my blogs anymore, but if you read this, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it and at what age you started to work on teaching your little ones about money. I seem to recall it being a topic of discussion earlier, so maybe I'll search through your older comments.
UPDATE: Here is a link to some cool piggy banks and ideas that Mani sent me. Thanks!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
A short vent with no explanation
She's an instant gratification gal. She always seems to be focused on the NOW and doesn't think about the FUTURE. If she wants it, then she needs it. If she needs it then she deserves it. If she deserves it then she she can justify it. If she can justify it then she goes through with it. And right now! Even if she might not be able to afford it - Either financially or morally.
Sometimes it really frustrates me.
Sometimes it really frustrates me.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Biting my tongue
Sometimes a picture can say it better than words. It's too bad that I'd probably have to explain the picture if I actually sent it.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Moving On is NOT the same as Moving In!
I don't think I've told anyone yet, but they got back together. For what I think would be obvious reasons, we're not too thrilled about this fact.
A few weeks ago, he surprised me by picking me up on the way to Estes Park and offering to carpool. We talked a bit about her and he seems happy. He then proceeded to tell me about how her new job requires that she's on call 24/7 and since she doesn't have a car, this means that he often has to get up in the middle of the night to drive her. What got me was what followed:
HIM: When we're rushing out the door in the middle of the night, I like to pretend that we're rushing her to the hospital.
ME: What do you mean? That's a weird thing to say.
HIM: You know, like she's pregnant and I'm rushing her to the hospital because she has gone into labor.
ME: (OH MY GOD, YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!!) Um... Do you want to have kids with her?
HIM: No, but it's fun to pretend.
ME: UH.
HIM: She likes it too. She thinks it's cute.
ME: UH.
Later that night, we were all sitting around the dinner table and the topic of family pictures came up:
HIM: Since we are all here together, I have an announcement to make.
EVERYONE: (Complete silence... we're not going to like this)
ME: (OH $#!+ OH $#!+ She's pregnant!)
HIM: She wants me to tell you that she would like a copy of one of the family pictures we have taken.
EVERYONE: (Sigh of relief)
ME: That's all?
HIM: Yeah. Is that OK?
Then yesterday, I also just found out that they moved in together. Though I had heard through the grapevine that they were thinking about it, I did not know that it had already happened. When I asked him why he didn't tell me and when he was planning on saying something, his response was "Well you told me I should wait for 6 months, so that's when I was going to tell you."
WHA??? I told you that you should wait and take things slowly before moving in and therefore that time frame is a good time to tell me that you've already been living with her for 6 months? Umm, I'm going to try not to comment on how horrible I think it is is that you're keeping stuff from your family now. Big stuff. It's stupid.
Combining the two details above, I can't help but wonder if there is more he's hiding. I don't like being a drama queen so I will be asking soon, but this could potentially be bad. Very bad. Ugh.
A few weeks ago, he surprised me by picking me up on the way to Estes Park and offering to carpool. We talked a bit about her and he seems happy. He then proceeded to tell me about how her new job requires that she's on call 24/7 and since she doesn't have a car, this means that he often has to get up in the middle of the night to drive her. What got me was what followed:
HIM: When we're rushing out the door in the middle of the night, I like to pretend that we're rushing her to the hospital.
ME: What do you mean? That's a weird thing to say.
HIM: You know, like she's pregnant and I'm rushing her to the hospital because she has gone into labor.
ME: (OH MY GOD, YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!!) Um... Do you want to have kids with her?
HIM: No, but it's fun to pretend.
ME: UH.
HIM: She likes it too. She thinks it's cute.
ME: UH.
Later that night, we were all sitting around the dinner table and the topic of family pictures came up:
HIM: Since we are all here together, I have an announcement to make.
EVERYONE: (Complete silence... we're not going to like this)
ME: (OH $#!+ OH $#!+ She's pregnant!)
HIM: She wants me to tell you that she would like a copy of one of the family pictures we have taken.
EVERYONE: (Sigh of relief)
ME: That's all?
HIM: Yeah. Is that OK?
Then yesterday, I also just found out that they moved in together. Though I had heard through the grapevine that they were thinking about it, I did not know that it had already happened. When I asked him why he didn't tell me and when he was planning on saying something, his response was "Well you told me I should wait for 6 months, so that's when I was going to tell you."
WHA??? I told you that you should wait and take things slowly before moving in and therefore that time frame is a good time to tell me that you've already been living with her for 6 months? Umm, I'm going to try not to comment on how horrible I think it is is that you're keeping stuff from your family now. Big stuff. It's stupid.
Combining the two details above, I can't help but wonder if there is more he's hiding. I don't like being a drama queen so I will be asking soon, but this could potentially be bad. Very bad. Ugh.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Poll on Responsibility
I'm reaching out to you in trying to determine what should be expected here... Tell me which position you lean towards:
Position 1:
When a family member offers to take Ellie for a period of time (whether it be an afternoon, a day or even a few days), it should be assumed that the agreed upon duration will be carried out. Plans are made with a given available time in mind. No returning Ellie unexpectedly early.
Position 2:
Ultimately Ellie is our responsibility and thus we have no reason to complain if she returns from a visit earlier than expected. Whatever duration she ends up staying away makes for a nice break and should be appreciated as is, even if we need to cut our plans short. Ellie can be exhausting for anyone and possibly more so on those who aren't around her all the time.
Position 1:
When a family member offers to take Ellie for a period of time (whether it be an afternoon, a day or even a few days), it should be assumed that the agreed upon duration will be carried out. Plans are made with a given available time in mind. No returning Ellie unexpectedly early.
Position 2:
Ultimately Ellie is our responsibility and thus we have no reason to complain if she returns from a visit earlier than expected. Whatever duration she ends up staying away makes for a nice break and should be appreciated as is, even if we need to cut our plans short. Ellie can be exhausting for anyone and possibly more so on those who aren't around her all the time.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Room for improvement
I think I need to work on not getting defensive when people make comments about Ellie or her behavior. I am realizing that it's a pet-peeve of mine that people comment on Ellie being fussy when she's hungry or tired. Or, on a related note, when people make a comment about trying to stick to a somewhat rigid schedule. I know that this is partly lingering frustration from my trip to the beach, but I am sure that it's an area in which it would be worthwhile for me to try harder to just ignore and not respond to what someone says, especially if that someone doesn't mean anything bad by it.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Nicknames
We originally picked Ellie's name because we loved the fact that it was a beautiful name with two relatively good nicknames (one being Ellie and one being Lori). We figured that we would call her Ellie as a child and she could go by Lori as an adult (if she so desires).
As it turns out, we rarely actually use "Ellie". I use that name on my blogs, but in person, I feel like her full name fits her so much better. Some of the grandparents call her Ellie, and I'm fine with that. It doesn't bother me.
However, what does bother me is Jen. I realize that since my name is Jennifer, most people will call me Jen. I don't mind it when it's spoken. I don't mind friends, coworkers or random people calling me Jen when they speak to me. What I do mind is being introduced as Jen. Or worse yet... having my name be "Jen" on something official or keepsake-worthy, like the recently autographed photograph taken by an in-law. He wrote "To Michael and Jen".
It's not the first time that it's happened. When we were married, I received quite a few gifts (mostly from family on the hubby's side) that were engraved or cross-stitched with the names "Michael and Jen." Why does he get to be Michael instead of Mike, but I can't be Jennifer???
I'm not Jen, people! I'm Jennifer! If you're going to include my name on something that is somewhat-permanent... use the right name! And to think that I thought this was addressed years ago. Ugh. I wish it didn't bother me so much because it's so silly, but it does. It really does. UGH.
As it turns out, we rarely actually use "Ellie". I use that name on my blogs, but in person, I feel like her full name fits her so much better. Some of the grandparents call her Ellie, and I'm fine with that. It doesn't bother me.
However, what does bother me is Jen. I realize that since my name is Jennifer, most people will call me Jen. I don't mind it when it's spoken. I don't mind friends, coworkers or random people calling me Jen when they speak to me. What I do mind is being introduced as Jen. Or worse yet... having my name be "Jen" on something official or keepsake-worthy, like the recently autographed photograph taken by an in-law. He wrote "To Michael and Jen".
It's not the first time that it's happened. When we were married, I received quite a few gifts (mostly from family on the hubby's side) that were engraved or cross-stitched with the names "Michael and Jen." Why does he get to be Michael instead of Mike, but I can't be Jennifer???
I'm not Jen, people! I'm Jennifer! If you're going to include my name on something that is somewhat-permanent... use the right name! And to think that I thought this was addressed years ago. Ugh. I wish it didn't bother me so much because it's so silly, but it does. It really does. UGH.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Golden Rule for Toddlers
I think in this point in time, if there is one rule we must stick to with Ellie, it's:
DO NOT MESS WITH THE SCHEDULE!
Seriously, as long as you keep her from getting tired or hungry, she's really quite a pleasant little person to be with, but stray from the schedule by 15 or 30 minutes and you're asking for trouble. Stray by an hour and everyone is miserable. I say this as a pre-req for the venting session I'm about to embark upon. Most people are willing to stick to the schedule, acknowledging that we don't do it just for fun.
In fact, when I was telling the family about the general schedule, the conversation went something like this:
Mommy: Ellie usually does best if we stick to a general schedule. She usually wakes up at 6 or 7 and goes down for a nap around 12:30 and sleeps until 2:30 or 3:00. She usually eats dinner between 5 and 6 and then goes to bed at 7:30. If we keep her from getting hungry or tired, life is much more enjoyable.
Grandma: Oh really? That strict?
Mommy: Yeah, I realize that most people make fun of us for sticking to a schedule...
Grandpa: (interrupting) We're those people.
Mommy: (ignoring Grandpa's comment)... but really at this age, it's easiest for Ellie....
Grandpa: (interrupting) We're those people.
Mommy: (acknowledging he said something) I know. Anyway, she just can't emotionally handle herself if she's hungry or tired.
Grandma: Oh. I guess it's better to not mess with fire.
Anyway, I will be posting pictures from our trip to the beach soon, along with the happy-go-lucky stories that can be shared with all. In the mean time, you'll have to settle for the true gossip. Yay!
Though it started off well, over all the trip to the beach just got more and more frustrating. It was the first time when I felt like family members did very little to try to include Ellie in activities. Some examples:
Mommy: (Upon arriving after a long day of traveling) What's the plan for dinner?
Grandpa: Oh, we don't really have anything planned. We could go out and buy something to cook.
Mommy: Oh, well we really need to get food in this little girl's tummy as quickly as possible. How about we just go out?
Grandpa: Do you really want to go out and spend that kind of money? We could go to the store and buy burgers and bring them back to cook.
Mommy: That will take a long time. (It's too bad you didn't buy the stuff while waiting for us to show up. Grrr.) We'll pay for dinner.
Grandpa: Huff puff. I suppose we could go to a pub down the street. Is anyone even hungry yet, though?
Mommy: Ellie would you like fruit salad for dinner?
Ellie: Yeah!
Mommy: Do you want to help Mommy make it?
Ellie: Yeah!
Grandpa: Uh... maybe we could just give her her own fruit to play with and not have her mess with the food for others?
Mommy: Of course we'll wash our hands first, right Ellie?
Ellie: Yeah! I wash ands and elp fruit salad! Nummy Nummy!
Grandpa: No, I think it would be better for all if we just set aside some fruit for her.
Grandma: I was hoping we could all eat dinner together tonight!
Mommy: Well Ellie typically eats around 5:00 or 6:00.
Grandma: I'm not going to be hungry that early, so let's plan on dinner around 7:30 or 8:00.
Mommy: Fine, but Ellie needs to eat sooner and we'll be putting her to bed at that time.
Grandma: Well I was really hoping we could all eat together. It should be ok because Ellie is used to being two hours behind us. We're on East-Coast time here, you know (no S#!+ Sherlock!).
Mommy: Yes, but she wakes up to the East Coast sunrise, so the time change doesn't matter.
Grandma: Ok, so we'll eat dinner around 7:30 or 8:00.
The above example repeated most days. Whenever we would decide to try to push Ellie's dinner and bedtime off a little bit, Ellie would have emotional hunger and tired driven breakdowns, to which we would get responses like the following:
Grandma: What is her problem today? Why is she so upset? What is her problem?
Grandpa: Well, if you want to teach her that crying is acceptable then go ahead and try to calm her down. If that's the lesson you want her to learn.
UGH, people! Don't you realize that she wouldn't even be upset in the first place if she wasn't so hungry and so tired????
Mommy: The guys are out fishing. What are your plans for the afternoon?
Aunt A: We're going to go shopping.
Mommy: Are you by chance taking the car or the bikes so that Ellie and I can join?
Aunt A: Nope. It's just the three of us (Aunt G, Grandma and Aunt A) so we're going to walk.
Mommy: Oh. Ok. I guess Ellie and I will stay here for the next few hours and play games by ourselves.
Aunt A: Ok. Have fun.
Daddy: We'd like to mix up activities a little since Ellie is somewhat terrified of the water. Maybe we could go to the playground with her?
Grandma: Well, I suppose, but I'd really like to accomplish more than just the playground in the afternoon.
Daddy: Well Ellie usually wakes from her nap around 3 and eats around 5 or 6. That doesn't leave a lot of time to accomplish much more than one activity.
Grandma: Huff puff.
Daddy: Let's just see how it goes.
Grandma: Ok. We can probably put in an hour or two at the beach before dinner, too.
Mommy: We'd like to get away for a little while to take some belly shots. We're going to finally take you up on your offer to watch Ellie for us (they offered, but kept coming up with reasons why "now just isn't good").
Grandma: I suppose now is as good of a time as any.
Mommy: Yes, especially since we leave tomorrow morning and are running out of opportunities.
Grandma: Huff. Puff. Ok, but when do you think you'll be back?
Mommy: 15-20 minutes.
Grandma: Oh, is that all? Sure! Go! Take a break! You deserve one!
I guess I'm a little naive. In my mind, these are family members who do not get to spend nearly as much time with Ellie as they would like, nor as much as we'd like them to be able to, so when the opportunity presents itself I would expect them to try to work around Ellie's abilities to join in on an activity. We were very disappointed in the lack of opportunities to get pictures of Ellie with her aunts (absolutely no opportunities came up because they did NOTHING together) and disappointed in feeling like we had to force and remind the grandparents to participate in something with her. Heck, I felt like my friends (who have no family-relationship to Ellie) include her better than these particular family members. It was sad.
And that's not even the frustrations I had that weren't Ellie-related. It was the first time I got a good glimpse of how the boys (Daddy and his brother) were treated with different standards than the girls (the step sisters). It's unfair and just plain rude, and even I got infuriated about it when I normally just shrug off the topic.
Sigh. This is the most frustrated I've ever been with how family members have interacted with Ellie (or in this case, the lack thereof). Thanks for the vent, internet! =)
DO NOT MESS WITH THE SCHEDULE!
Seriously, as long as you keep her from getting tired or hungry, she's really quite a pleasant little person to be with, but stray from the schedule by 15 or 30 minutes and you're asking for trouble. Stray by an hour and everyone is miserable. I say this as a pre-req for the venting session I'm about to embark upon. Most people are willing to stick to the schedule, acknowledging that we don't do it just for fun.
In fact, when I was telling the family about the general schedule, the conversation went something like this:
Mommy: Ellie usually does best if we stick to a general schedule. She usually wakes up at 6 or 7 and goes down for a nap around 12:30 and sleeps until 2:30 or 3:00. She usually eats dinner between 5 and 6 and then goes to bed at 7:30. If we keep her from getting hungry or tired, life is much more enjoyable.
Grandma: Oh really? That strict?
Mommy: Yeah, I realize that most people make fun of us for sticking to a schedule...
Grandpa: (interrupting) We're those people.
Mommy: (ignoring Grandpa's comment)... but really at this age, it's easiest for Ellie....
Grandpa: (interrupting) We're those people.
Mommy: (acknowledging he said something) I know. Anyway, she just can't emotionally handle herself if she's hungry or tired.
Grandma: Oh. I guess it's better to not mess with fire.
Anyway, I will be posting pictures from our trip to the beach soon, along with the happy-go-lucky stories that can be shared with all. In the mean time, you'll have to settle for the true gossip. Yay!
Though it started off well, over all the trip to the beach just got more and more frustrating. It was the first time when I felt like family members did very little to try to include Ellie in activities. Some examples:
Mommy: (Upon arriving after a long day of traveling) What's the plan for dinner?
Grandpa: Oh, we don't really have anything planned. We could go out and buy something to cook.
Mommy: Oh, well we really need to get food in this little girl's tummy as quickly as possible. How about we just go out?
Grandpa: Do you really want to go out and spend that kind of money? We could go to the store and buy burgers and bring them back to cook.
Mommy: That will take a long time. (It's too bad you didn't buy the stuff while waiting for us to show up. Grrr.) We'll pay for dinner.
Grandpa: Huff puff. I suppose we could go to a pub down the street. Is anyone even hungry yet, though?
Mommy: Ellie would you like fruit salad for dinner?
Ellie: Yeah!
Mommy: Do you want to help Mommy make it?
Ellie: Yeah!
Grandpa: Uh... maybe we could just give her her own fruit to play with and not have her mess with the food for others?
Mommy: Of course we'll wash our hands first, right Ellie?
Ellie: Yeah! I wash ands and elp fruit salad! Nummy Nummy!
Grandpa: No, I think it would be better for all if we just set aside some fruit for her.
Grandma: I was hoping we could all eat dinner together tonight!
Mommy: Well Ellie typically eats around 5:00 or 6:00.
Grandma: I'm not going to be hungry that early, so let's plan on dinner around 7:30 or 8:00.
Mommy: Fine, but Ellie needs to eat sooner and we'll be putting her to bed at that time.
Grandma: Well I was really hoping we could all eat together. It should be ok because Ellie is used to being two hours behind us. We're on East-Coast time here, you know (no S#!+ Sherlock!).
Mommy: Yes, but she wakes up to the East Coast sunrise, so the time change doesn't matter.
Grandma: Ok, so we'll eat dinner around 7:30 or 8:00.
The above example repeated most days. Whenever we would decide to try to push Ellie's dinner and bedtime off a little bit, Ellie would have emotional hunger and tired driven breakdowns, to which we would get responses like the following:
Grandma: What is her problem today? Why is she so upset? What is her problem?
Grandpa: Well, if you want to teach her that crying is acceptable then go ahead and try to calm her down. If that's the lesson you want her to learn.
UGH, people! Don't you realize that she wouldn't even be upset in the first place if she wasn't so hungry and so tired????
Mommy: The guys are out fishing. What are your plans for the afternoon?
Aunt A: We're going to go shopping.
Mommy: Are you by chance taking the car or the bikes so that Ellie and I can join?
Aunt A: Nope. It's just the three of us (Aunt G, Grandma and Aunt A) so we're going to walk.
Mommy: Oh. Ok. I guess Ellie and I will stay here for the next few hours and play games by ourselves.
Aunt A: Ok. Have fun.
Daddy: We'd like to mix up activities a little since Ellie is somewhat terrified of the water. Maybe we could go to the playground with her?
Grandma: Well, I suppose, but I'd really like to accomplish more than just the playground in the afternoon.
Daddy: Well Ellie usually wakes from her nap around 3 and eats around 5 or 6. That doesn't leave a lot of time to accomplish much more than one activity.
Grandma: Huff puff.
Daddy: Let's just see how it goes.
Grandma: Ok. We can probably put in an hour or two at the beach before dinner, too.
Mommy: We'd like to get away for a little while to take some belly shots. We're going to finally take you up on your offer to watch Ellie for us (they offered, but kept coming up with reasons why "now just isn't good").
Grandma: I suppose now is as good of a time as any.
Mommy: Yes, especially since we leave tomorrow morning and are running out of opportunities.
Grandma: Huff. Puff. Ok, but when do you think you'll be back?
Mommy: 15-20 minutes.
Grandma: Oh, is that all? Sure! Go! Take a break! You deserve one!
I guess I'm a little naive. In my mind, these are family members who do not get to spend nearly as much time with Ellie as they would like, nor as much as we'd like them to be able to, so when the opportunity presents itself I would expect them to try to work around Ellie's abilities to join in on an activity. We were very disappointed in the lack of opportunities to get pictures of Ellie with her aunts (absolutely no opportunities came up because they did NOTHING together) and disappointed in feeling like we had to force and remind the grandparents to participate in something with her. Heck, I felt like my friends (who have no family-relationship to Ellie) include her better than these particular family members. It was sad.
And that's not even the frustrations I had that weren't Ellie-related. It was the first time I got a good glimpse of how the boys (Daddy and his brother) were treated with different standards than the girls (the step sisters). It's unfair and just plain rude, and even I got infuriated about it when I normally just shrug off the topic.
Sigh. This is the most frustrated I've ever been with how family members have interacted with Ellie (or in this case, the lack thereof). Thanks for the vent, internet! =)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Baby Talk
I'm nearly certain I've posted about this before, so I apologize for the repetition.
As some of you know (and others will know once the pictures post next week), we went camping last weekend. Over all it was a huge success.
But, in spending a couple of days with Nana and Grandpa, it became apparent to me that we really do not talk to Ellie using baby talk. Sure, we change the tone of our voice to adapt to her, but the words themselves are grown-up words. The grammar itself is grown-up grammar (at least to the best of my ability... lol).
Both of the grandparents (and I'm sure they're not alone in this) had the habit of repeating Ellie's cute, but incorrect way of saying things. It's great that they understand her and it's great that they engage her.
I'm just saying that I definitely noticed that when Daddy or I talk to her, we confirm what she wants by using correct words and grammar. Not everyone does this.
I wonder if that's why she does, and always has, spoken so well. I wonder if many parents, without really thinking about it, just confirm incorrect words when they repeat what their kids say.
As some of you know (and others will know once the pictures post next week), we went camping last weekend. Over all it was a huge success.
But, in spending a couple of days with Nana and Grandpa, it became apparent to me that we really do not talk to Ellie using baby talk. Sure, we change the tone of our voice to adapt to her, but the words themselves are grown-up words. The grammar itself is grown-up grammar (at least to the best of my ability... lol).
Both of the grandparents (and I'm sure they're not alone in this) had the habit of repeating Ellie's cute, but incorrect way of saying things. It's great that they understand her and it's great that they engage her.
I'm just saying that I definitely noticed that when Daddy or I talk to her, we confirm what she wants by using correct words and grammar. Not everyone does this.
I wonder if that's why she does, and always has, spoken so well. I wonder if many parents, without really thinking about it, just confirm incorrect words when they repeat what their kids say.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Growing is over-rated
It's all about personal and professional growth, right?
Without wanting to go into details, I just found out that it's my decision whether or not to terminate out technician's employment. Ugh. No one wants to have that burden hanging on their shoulders. I don't think anyone wants to be responsible for putting someone on the unemployment list, let alone doing so during this recession.
Ugh.
Without wanting to go into details, I just found out that it's my decision whether or not to terminate out technician's employment. Ugh. No one wants to have that burden hanging on their shoulders. I don't think anyone wants to be responsible for putting someone on the unemployment list, let alone doing so during this recession.
Ugh.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I can help you spend your money!
For my birthday, I recently decided to make the offer to match my friends' charity donations. Since it was a spur of the moment decision for me, it's actually lingering longer than I originally intended. That being said, I am having a lot of fun seeing the things that call out to my friends and make their hearts yearn to do good.
Before I continue, I will say that I know my mom has good intentions. Really, she's just trying to help. However, I still feel like this is one of those examples that left me thinking "Who does that?"
When I made my offer, I did not originally include my mom in what I envisioned being the dollar commitment that might be required by making such an offer. My mom instilled in me my passion for donating, and so to include her on the list of people to "match" could potentially be quite the undertaking.
That being said, I didn't specifically not include her either. She found out about my offer and said she'd donate $x amount of money. Without giving specific numbers, this dollar figure was over twice the highest dollar figure any of my friends offered. Though I didn't expect to take her donations into account, I was ok with the dollar amount she requested. If everyone donated that amount of money, my money would go quickly, but who cares, right?
Moving on... then she found out that my company matches my donations. She emailed me and said "I'm going to up my donation to 4x $x!" Uh... Wow. Ok. Um... I'll have to wait to see what I have left over after my friends make their donations and I'll let you know if I can match that new 4x number.
Moving on... when I called her to discuss the above, she interrupted me and said "Oh, and I forwarded your offer to all my friends so you should be hearing from some of them soon."
This is where my real frustration comes in. I realize she thought that I was just trying to make the most of my donations, but still... who would forward an offer like that to people who don't even know me??? On top of that (and this is definitely an assumption I'm making), her friends are in Estes Park. People living in Estes Park only do so because they can afford to, right? Who knows what kind of money requests would come from these friends of hers?
Be honest... many of you received my offer to match your donations. Did you consider forwarding it to people I did not know?
Before I continue, I will say that I know my mom has good intentions. Really, she's just trying to help. However, I still feel like this is one of those examples that left me thinking "Who does that?"
When I made my offer, I did not originally include my mom in what I envisioned being the dollar commitment that might be required by making such an offer. My mom instilled in me my passion for donating, and so to include her on the list of people to "match" could potentially be quite the undertaking.
That being said, I didn't specifically not include her either. She found out about my offer and said she'd donate $x amount of money. Without giving specific numbers, this dollar figure was over twice the highest dollar figure any of my friends offered. Though I didn't expect to take her donations into account, I was ok with the dollar amount she requested. If everyone donated that amount of money, my money would go quickly, but who cares, right?
Moving on... then she found out that my company matches my donations. She emailed me and said "I'm going to up my donation to 4x $x!" Uh... Wow. Ok. Um... I'll have to wait to see what I have left over after my friends make their donations and I'll let you know if I can match that new 4x number.
Moving on... when I called her to discuss the above, she interrupted me and said "Oh, and I forwarded your offer to all my friends so you should be hearing from some of them soon."
This is where my real frustration comes in. I realize she thought that I was just trying to make the most of my donations, but still... who would forward an offer like that to people who don't even know me??? On top of that (and this is definitely an assumption I'm making), her friends are in Estes Park. People living in Estes Park only do so because they can afford to, right? Who knows what kind of money requests would come from these friends of hers?
Be honest... many of you received my offer to match your donations. Did you consider forwarding it to people I did not know?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Keeping my identity a secret...
Google is just too good. It keeps a record of old posts and stuff, so even though I believe I have taken off any specific mentioning of my other blog, it still comes up when I search for it. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it does, but comes up further down the list than the other blog. Today I searched, and this secret blog was the top option. Hmmm...
So... My question to you... Do I worry about it? Do I start making you guys log in to read this blog? Do I just wait it out and see what happens? Presumably those I'm concerned about already know the address of my other blog, so why would they ever Google it?
Give me your thoughts. I'd love to hear if you'd be willing to do the extra step of logging in, or what you'd do if you were me.
So... My question to you... Do I worry about it? Do I start making you guys log in to read this blog? Do I just wait it out and see what happens? Presumably those I'm concerned about already know the address of my other blog, so why would they ever Google it?
Give me your thoughts. I'd love to hear if you'd be willing to do the extra step of logging in, or what you'd do if you were me.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Gray Hairs
Please do not take it upon yourself to yank out any gray hairs you might see on my head. Yes, I know some of them exist. I'm convinced it's from a process called aging combined with the effects of motherhood. I don't care about them. They are a part of who I am, so please do not feel like you are doing me a favor by pulling them out. Besides, I know you got a couple innocent strands of brown hair while attacking the gray one you aimed for, and what did they ever do to deserve that?
Eeek...
I just did a google search for my other blog and realized that this one comes up relatively close to the top of the list. It's on the first page anyway. I think I need to do some cleaning-up to try to fix that problem.
I just don't think I'm ready for family members to stumble on this site yet. I know the day will come eventually, but hopefully not soon. Take my sister, for example, I think that she would have a much better appreciation and understanding for why I feel like I need this secret blog once she becomes a mother herself. Until then, it's a scary thought. Who knows.
But I'm going to start cleaning-up any trace of my identity. Let's hope it works.
I just don't think I'm ready for family members to stumble on this site yet. I know the day will come eventually, but hopefully not soon. Take my sister, for example, I think that she would have a much better appreciation and understanding for why I feel like I need this secret blog once she becomes a mother herself. Until then, it's a scary thought. Who knows.
But I'm going to start cleaning-up any trace of my identity. Let's hope it works.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
WANTED: Friends
I had an epiphany yesterday. It happened while trying to convince myself that it was silly to be upset about finding out a friend has had a blog for over 6 months now without letting me know (J - if you're reading this, please don't fret). Logically, I knew there was nothing to be upset about. For whatever reason, she just didn't tell anyone about the blog. But I couldn't help it.
Remember my last pregnancy when I thought the world was coming to an end because I couldn't return a $5 box of Christmas cards? Like then, I am convinced that I was so upset because of stupid hormones. They suck. Seriously, hormones are way over-rated.
Back to the point, Reffin!
I realized yesterday that this is just about exactly the point in my first pregnancy where I felt a strong need to find closer friends. I searched desperately and ended up hanging out with a few great gals to scrapbook.
I'm feeling that same need now. It's strong. Usually I'm completely happy with my friend situation. I have a few close friends who I don't see nearly as often as I'd like, but when we do see each other - it's fantastic. I'm usually ok with that.
But there is this calling (and it's happened in both pregnancies now) where I am actually depressed that I don't have a best friend I can hang out with on a regular basis.
Hmmm... I find it interesting that the closest I've gotten to having strange pregnancy cravings is that I crave a tattoo and a best friend.
DISCLAIMER: For all my friends out there - you're wonderful. Keep it up! I'm not even sure that what I am craving is possible while being a Mommy at the same time. It's not you. It's me. LOL. Love ya! =)
Remember my last pregnancy when I thought the world was coming to an end because I couldn't return a $5 box of Christmas cards? Like then, I am convinced that I was so upset because of stupid hormones. They suck. Seriously, hormones are way over-rated.
Back to the point, Reffin!
I realized yesterday that this is just about exactly the point in my first pregnancy where I felt a strong need to find closer friends. I searched desperately and ended up hanging out with a few great gals to scrapbook.
I'm feeling that same need now. It's strong. Usually I'm completely happy with my friend situation. I have a few close friends who I don't see nearly as often as I'd like, but when we do see each other - it's fantastic. I'm usually ok with that.
But there is this calling (and it's happened in both pregnancies now) where I am actually depressed that I don't have a best friend I can hang out with on a regular basis.
Hmmm... I find it interesting that the closest I've gotten to having strange pregnancy cravings is that I crave a tattoo and a best friend.
DISCLAIMER: For all my friends out there - you're wonderful. Keep it up! I'm not even sure that what I am craving is possible while being a Mommy at the same time. It's not you. It's me. LOL. Love ya! =)
Monday, May 18, 2009
There's a difference, people!
Ok, for those of you who don't know - There is a difference between fat shirts and pregnancy shirts. I know it's hard to believe but a pregnant woman is not necessarily fat and believe it or not, those shirts still look big even if she's 9 months pregnant!
It's all about the cut. Pregnancy clothing is designed to fit a woman who (for the most part) is only big in the tummy (and boobs, we can't forget those). Extra-large shirts are designed for extra large people, who (for the most part) are extra large everywhere.
Please don't give me the clothes you once wore when you were overweight or in a grunge baggy phase thinking that they'd look great on me. Trust me, even right before my due date, I'd still feel like I was swimming in that shirt.
Thank you.
P.S. I might be hormonally pregnant today. Try giving me the shirt tomorrow. Better yet, let's just forget the whole thing ever happened.
It's all about the cut. Pregnancy clothing is designed to fit a woman who (for the most part) is only big in the tummy (and boobs, we can't forget those). Extra-large shirts are designed for extra large people, who (for the most part) are extra large everywhere.
Please don't give me the clothes you once wore when you were overweight or in a grunge baggy phase thinking that they'd look great on me. Trust me, even right before my due date, I'd still feel like I was swimming in that shirt.
Thank you.
P.S. I might be hormonally pregnant today. Try giving me the shirt tomorrow. Better yet, let's just forget the whole thing ever happened.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Great, but inappropriate presents
I've been meaning to write about this for a while but apparently it's not a huge deal so I keep forgetting to do so.
So my problem is that Pappy and Grammie keep giving Ellie great gifts. You're probably wondering why that's an issue. It's an issue because the great gifts are almost always for an age group two years older than Ellie's age.
The reason they keep doing this is that they have another grand-daughter and they want to get the two girls the same gift. However, the other girl is 2.5 years older than Ellie.
Some examples?
When we were moving away from MD (right after Christmas time), Ellie got a big plastic slide for the yard. This particular present annoyed us for more reasons than just the age recommendation. We were in the middle of having our house on the market and had no place to store a big slide, yet we didn't want to set it up because of the house showings and the fact that we were hoping to move in a couple weeks. Getting the slide initiated our decision to get a big storage unit for a bunch of stuff. Anyway, the slide was rated for 3 years and older. Ellie had just learned how to crawl (8 months).
Another Christmas present (again at 8 months) was a cute little pink luggage bag on wheels. We actually have gotten quite a bit of use out of it, but not until long after Ellie started walking!
For her first birthday, Ellie got a tea set, rated for ages 3 and older. We actually use the tea set all the time and love it. However, it's made of porcelain and Ellie is definitely more rough with it than I'm comfortable with. She's just at that age where she likes to explore what happens when she hits things together rougher than normal use. A plastic or tin tea set would have been great.
The following Christmas (20 months), Ellie got a talking Elmo doll. Again, the rating was for children 3 and older. I think the biggest reason for waiting until that age is that Ellie was terrified about a talking toy. We've had to put it in storage for a while.
For her 2nd birthday, Ellie got a game console that turns our TV into a gaming station. She is definitely not old enough to understand how to control the characters in the games, so it ends up being Mommy or Daddy playing and Ellie watching. It's rated for 4 and older.
They really are great presents, but just not applicable to Ellie's age. The frustrating thing about it is that we can't just store it right away. As soon as Ellie sees the toy, she wants to play with it. Then she gets frustrated once we try to play with it. I'm sure that the toys will become some of Ellie's favorites (a couple years of counseling, she should be able to get over her fear of the Elmo doll), but I just wish they could buy Ellie presents that match Ellie. Not her older cousin.
Eventually the age difference won't matter between the two girls. However, even then I'd like for the grandparents to get her something that matches *HER* personality instead of her cousin's. I recall being annoyed whenever my family members lumped my sister and I into the same person and I can totally see that happening in this situation.
So there's my vent of the day. Take it or leave it. Actually, now that you've read the whole thing, I guess you have to take it. Sorry about that. =)
So my problem is that Pappy and Grammie keep giving Ellie great gifts. You're probably wondering why that's an issue. It's an issue because the great gifts are almost always for an age group two years older than Ellie's age.
The reason they keep doing this is that they have another grand-daughter and they want to get the two girls the same gift. However, the other girl is 2.5 years older than Ellie.
Some examples?
When we were moving away from MD (right after Christmas time), Ellie got a big plastic slide for the yard. This particular present annoyed us for more reasons than just the age recommendation. We were in the middle of having our house on the market and had no place to store a big slide, yet we didn't want to set it up because of the house showings and the fact that we were hoping to move in a couple weeks. Getting the slide initiated our decision to get a big storage unit for a bunch of stuff. Anyway, the slide was rated for 3 years and older. Ellie had just learned how to crawl (8 months).
Another Christmas present (again at 8 months) was a cute little pink luggage bag on wheels. We actually have gotten quite a bit of use out of it, but not until long after Ellie started walking!
For her first birthday, Ellie got a tea set, rated for ages 3 and older. We actually use the tea set all the time and love it. However, it's made of porcelain and Ellie is definitely more rough with it than I'm comfortable with. She's just at that age where she likes to explore what happens when she hits things together rougher than normal use. A plastic or tin tea set would have been great.
The following Christmas (20 months), Ellie got a talking Elmo doll. Again, the rating was for children 3 and older. I think the biggest reason for waiting until that age is that Ellie was terrified about a talking toy. We've had to put it in storage for a while.
For her 2nd birthday, Ellie got a game console that turns our TV into a gaming station. She is definitely not old enough to understand how to control the characters in the games, so it ends up being Mommy or Daddy playing and Ellie watching. It's rated for 4 and older.
They really are great presents, but just not applicable to Ellie's age. The frustrating thing about it is that we can't just store it right away. As soon as Ellie sees the toy, she wants to play with it. Then she gets frustrated once we try to play with it. I'm sure that the toys will become some of Ellie's favorites (a couple years of counseling, she should be able to get over her fear of the Elmo doll), but I just wish they could buy Ellie presents that match Ellie. Not her older cousin.
Eventually the age difference won't matter between the two girls. However, even then I'd like for the grandparents to get her something that matches *HER* personality instead of her cousin's. I recall being annoyed whenever my family members lumped my sister and I into the same person and I can totally see that happening in this situation.
So there's my vent of the day. Take it or leave it. Actually, now that you've read the whole thing, I guess you have to take it. Sorry about that. =)
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The break-up
Well they broke up. I should say she broke up with him. She sent him a text saying "I did it again. I don't deserve you." and he hasn't heard from her since.
He's pretty torn up about it. It's his first break up - his first broken heart. I think over all he's handling it pretty well but he's still miserable and lonely again.
You know how it is when you break up with someone that the rest of the family did not really like. When my relationship with my ex went horribly wrong, it really annoyed me and even pissed me off how my family would say things like "you'll find someone better" or "he doesn't deserve you" or "you'll see that this is a good thing." Why would any of that stuff matter? What mattered is that my heart was broken.
Sadly I wish I could say I'm not saying those things to this guy about his ex. I'm discovering that no matter how much I don't want to say them because I know they're not what he needs to hear, I just don't know what else to say.
I would love to know the real reason for the break up too, but that's never going to happen either, is it? For the time being, though, he's broken and I need to acknowledge that and not try to instantly fix him.
He's pretty torn up about it. It's his first break up - his first broken heart. I think over all he's handling it pretty well but he's still miserable and lonely again.
You know how it is when you break up with someone that the rest of the family did not really like. When my relationship with my ex went horribly wrong, it really annoyed me and even pissed me off how my family would say things like "you'll find someone better" or "he doesn't deserve you" or "you'll see that this is a good thing." Why would any of that stuff matter? What mattered is that my heart was broken.
Sadly I wish I could say I'm not saying those things to this guy about his ex. I'm discovering that no matter how much I don't want to say them because I know they're not what he needs to hear, I just don't know what else to say.
I would love to know the real reason for the break up too, but that's never going to happen either, is it? For the time being, though, he's broken and I need to acknowledge that and not try to instantly fix him.
Friday, May 1, 2009
New blog
I put a link to a new blog on my main blog but I'll be honest and say that I'm not completely thrilled that it exists. It's stupid, I know, but I'm pregnant so it's ok.
The problem is that it's a blog for the girl who was born on the same day as Ellie and no matter how hard I try I tend to compare the two girls too much. But there is something about the fact that they were born on the same day that makes it hard to not look at her and compare her to Ellie.
I think really that's not even the problem. The problem is that her Mommy decided to stay home instead of returning to work, and even though I know that daycare is good for Ellie, there is a part of me that is jealous of the time my friend gets to spend with her daughter. This story sums it up well.
So I've now added her blog because yes I do want to keep up with it and yes her daughter is adorable. But feel free to tell me mine is better. Oh, and for her daughter's big girl room, she also happened to pick the bedding that I originally wanted (the one I ordered that was back-ordered until June), so feel free to tell me Ellie's room is cuter. LOL.
Hahaha. I hope everyone knows that I'm mostly kidding. In a "I know I'm being stupid" sort of way.
The problem is that it's a blog for the girl who was born on the same day as Ellie and no matter how hard I try I tend to compare the two girls too much. But there is something about the fact that they were born on the same day that makes it hard to not look at her and compare her to Ellie.
I think really that's not even the problem. The problem is that her Mommy decided to stay home instead of returning to work, and even though I know that daycare is good for Ellie, there is a part of me that is jealous of the time my friend gets to spend with her daughter. This story sums it up well.
So I've now added her blog because yes I do want to keep up with it and yes her daughter is adorable. But feel free to tell me mine is better. Oh, and for her daughter's big girl room, she also happened to pick the bedding that I originally wanted (the one I ordered that was back-ordered until June), so feel free to tell me Ellie's room is cuter. LOL.
Hahaha. I hope everyone knows that I'm mostly kidding. In a "I know I'm being stupid" sort of way.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Too many people, too little time
One of the most frustrating things about parenthood is the lack of time. There just isn't enough time in the day to spend as much as I want with Ellie, let alone anyone else. Since Ellie came along, "Family first" has become a regular motto for us to live by. We try to allow Ellie to spend as much time with family members as possible.
So when do I get the time to maintain or develop the friendships I crave for myself?
I'd love to spend more time with the friends I've had forever, but it's hard to do because they're in different places with their lives right now. That's not a bad thing. It's just a fact.
I'd also love to spend more time developing new friendships with people I've recently met (and think are fantastic), who happen to have children the same age as Ellie. In theory, if we were to become closer then it would be easier to hang out because our kids could play together as well. Theory is always so optimistic, isn't it?
And what about those who I should be seeing out of obligation? As it turns out, I have quite a few cousins and aunts who live in the area. I haven't seen many of them for years and years, but I'm obligated to, aren't I?
And that damn Facebook thing. I've had so many people return into my life who I really didn't intend to deal with. Many people who I used to be great friends with, I've assumed still lived out East. As it turns out, though, they're all back in Boulder! Shouldn't I catch up with them? We were once really close.
Seriously, how does one choose? I guess I just have to suck it up and admit that there isn't enough time for everyone, and hopefully those who I deem to be "less worthy" will understand.
I wonder if this would still be an issue if my sister lived near by. I feel like I crave an extremely close friendship with another woman. I haven't had that in so long, but I feel like it's something I need. Is that strange?
But seriously, there are just too many people I want to keep in touch with. Here is the list of people who, up until recently, I had every intention of meeting up with (in no particular order):
- The two great gals I've been friends with since high school
- My old room mate has moved back from the East coast
- Old high school friends who are now Mommies and it would be great to catch up
- Mommy friend who has a bunch of scrap book material she's trying to sell
- New fantastic Mommy friend who has a great personality and we just "clicked"
- Step sister who lives in town
- New Mommy and her neighbor who we bonded over frustrations with Boulder moms
- Mommy friends who I met through scrap-booking. Again, we just clicked
- Old college friend who is back from DC and now has a little girl
- New friend who I met through multiple separate connections
- Friends I've met through my husband - some of who actually have kids too
- Midwife from MD now lives in this area and also has a baby
- Cousins (I think there are 5 who live in the area)
- Another Mommy friend we met through daycare
- Ellie's best friend's Mom (at least our daughters are great friends)
- The person who is renting my sister's house (great gal)
And that's not even including the bridesmaid from my wedding, who I would love to hear from again to know everything is ok in her life.
I just don't have enough time, but I don't know how to choose which relationships to nurture. And even if I did choose, it seems like I just don't have the time or energy to initiate getting together on my own, and who would want to deal with that?
Ok. I'm rambling too much now, especially since most of the people who read this blog are included in the list above. Please don't feel bad. Chances are you have nothing to fear. =)
So when do I get the time to maintain or develop the friendships I crave for myself?
I'd love to spend more time with the friends I've had forever, but it's hard to do because they're in different places with their lives right now. That's not a bad thing. It's just a fact.
I'd also love to spend more time developing new friendships with people I've recently met (and think are fantastic), who happen to have children the same age as Ellie. In theory, if we were to become closer then it would be easier to hang out because our kids could play together as well. Theory is always so optimistic, isn't it?
And what about those who I should be seeing out of obligation? As it turns out, I have quite a few cousins and aunts who live in the area. I haven't seen many of them for years and years, but I'm obligated to, aren't I?
And that damn Facebook thing. I've had so many people return into my life who I really didn't intend to deal with. Many people who I used to be great friends with, I've assumed still lived out East. As it turns out, though, they're all back in Boulder! Shouldn't I catch up with them? We were once really close.
Seriously, how does one choose? I guess I just have to suck it up and admit that there isn't enough time for everyone, and hopefully those who I deem to be "less worthy" will understand.
I wonder if this would still be an issue if my sister lived near by. I feel like I crave an extremely close friendship with another woman. I haven't had that in so long, but I feel like it's something I need. Is that strange?
But seriously, there are just too many people I want to keep in touch with. Here is the list of people who, up until recently, I had every intention of meeting up with (in no particular order):
- The two great gals I've been friends with since high school
- My old room mate has moved back from the East coast
- Old high school friends who are now Mommies and it would be great to catch up
- Mommy friend who has a bunch of scrap book material she's trying to sell
- New fantastic Mommy friend who has a great personality and we just "clicked"
- Step sister who lives in town
- New Mommy and her neighbor who we bonded over frustrations with Boulder moms
- Mommy friends who I met through scrap-booking. Again, we just clicked
- Old college friend who is back from DC and now has a little girl
- New friend who I met through multiple separate connections
- Friends I've met through my husband - some of who actually have kids too
- Midwife from MD now lives in this area and also has a baby
- Cousins (I think there are 5 who live in the area)
- Another Mommy friend we met through daycare
- Ellie's best friend's Mom (at least our daughters are great friends)
- The person who is renting my sister's house (great gal)
And that's not even including the bridesmaid from my wedding, who I would love to hear from again to know everything is ok in her life.
I just don't have enough time, but I don't know how to choose which relationships to nurture. And even if I did choose, it seems like I just don't have the time or energy to initiate getting together on my own, and who would want to deal with that?
Ok. I'm rambling too much now, especially since most of the people who read this blog are included in the list above. Please don't feel bad. Chances are you have nothing to fear. =)
Monday, April 20, 2009
I call your bluff
Aunt Erin now claims that she doesn't want children. She's decided that her handbags and dinners at fancy restaurants with her hubby mean more to her than having children. She figures she can spoil Ellie (and the sibling we all keep forgetting is on the way) tons and thus be able to experience all the good side of children without the bad, difficult part. She figures it will be cheaper that way too.
Let me just say now that I'm calling her bluff. I don't believe her, nor do I agree with her. Sure, children make it more difficult to have time out, but I don't think they are any more expensive than the life that Erin would have without children.
But the important part is that I don't believe her.
But I also found myself having a hard time deciding if I should say anything about it. I tried to tell her that she's still missing out on the great moments where Ellie runs to me exclaiming "Mommy!" and gives me a big hug. I tried to come up with other examples - there are so many, but my mind came up blank. It was almost like I thought that there was no way I could convey how amazing it is to be a parent.
And to add to the story, last night we went to Chick-Fil-A and Ellie was dipping her fries and chicken into two different sauces. Aunt Erin made a comment about how "see, this is why I don't need my own kids." I'm pretty sure she was grossed out by how messy Ellie was (which really wasn't very) or that she was "mixing" sauces. Either way, her comment bothered me. I think it was on behalf of Ellie, but it's been weird to hear Erin list examples (all from Ellie's actions) of how she can deal with never having any of her own. It made me sad for Ellie's sake.
Yet the more Aunt Erin came up with examples, the less I believed her, and that's the real point. Let it be known. I'm calling her bluff. Only time will tell who is right.
Let me just say now that I'm calling her bluff. I don't believe her, nor do I agree with her. Sure, children make it more difficult to have time out, but I don't think they are any more expensive than the life that Erin would have without children.
But the important part is that I don't believe her.
But I also found myself having a hard time deciding if I should say anything about it. I tried to tell her that she's still missing out on the great moments where Ellie runs to me exclaiming "Mommy!" and gives me a big hug. I tried to come up with other examples - there are so many, but my mind came up blank. It was almost like I thought that there was no way I could convey how amazing it is to be a parent.
And to add to the story, last night we went to Chick-Fil-A and Ellie was dipping her fries and chicken into two different sauces. Aunt Erin made a comment about how "see, this is why I don't need my own kids." I'm pretty sure she was grossed out by how messy Ellie was (which really wasn't very) or that she was "mixing" sauces. Either way, her comment bothered me. I think it was on behalf of Ellie, but it's been weird to hear Erin list examples (all from Ellie's actions) of how she can deal with never having any of her own. It made me sad for Ellie's sake.
Yet the more Aunt Erin came up with examples, the less I believed her, and that's the real point. Let it be known. I'm calling her bluff. Only time will tell who is right.
She's young. Not deaf.
Ok, a minor and very quick vent here. Pappy and Grammie came to visit for Ellie's birthday and as nice as it was to see them, it's also nice to have the house to ourselves again (us and Aunt Erin, who we always love to have around). At one point in time, we had Pappy, Grammie, Uncle Jake, Grandma and Aunt Erin all staying with us. It was a good weekend, but still nice to have things back to normal.
As it always is whenever you have family over, there tends to be the one thing that you notice more than anything else that bothers you. This time it was Grammie talking to Ellie. Anytime she said something to her, she would say it with a very loud voice. Everyone noticed it. I got comments from my in-laws about it, too (and they usually keep their mouth shut about observations like that).
Poor Ellie noticed it too. How could you not? Grammie was the only one she didn't open up to this weekend, and I think it's because Ellie didn't like the way Grammie spoke to her. And in response, I think that Ellie yelled more this weekend than she usually does. The thing about young toddlers is that they copy what they see. If we whisper to her, then she whispers back. If we yell at her, then she yells back. Since Grammie spoke to her loudly, she spoke loudly back.
It was hard to deal with and hard to watch.
As it always is whenever you have family over, there tends to be the one thing that you notice more than anything else that bothers you. This time it was Grammie talking to Ellie. Anytime she said something to her, she would say it with a very loud voice. Everyone noticed it. I got comments from my in-laws about it, too (and they usually keep their mouth shut about observations like that).
Poor Ellie noticed it too. How could you not? Grammie was the only one she didn't open up to this weekend, and I think it's because Ellie didn't like the way Grammie spoke to her. And in response, I think that Ellie yelled more this weekend than she usually does. The thing about young toddlers is that they copy what they see. If we whisper to her, then she whispers back. If we yell at her, then she yells back. Since Grammie spoke to her loudly, she spoke loudly back.
It was hard to deal with and hard to watch.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The difference? AN ENTIRE GENERATION!
Since Ellie was born, I have made the transition to having Michael be "Daddy." This means that my father has been promoted to "Pappy." However this backfires on me whenever my mom asks about "Daddy" and I assume she's speaking about my husband. Apparently not everyone has made the same mental transition.
I guess this makes sense. My mom has spent almost 30 years referring to my dad as "Daddy" and we did the same. I'm not even sure I call him "Dad" on the phone anymore, but I certainly no longer call him "Daddy." Regardless, I can see why it would take my mom some time to adjust when she has 30 years to get passed.
However, I don't understand her issue with "Mommy" and "Grandma." I don't believe we have ever called her by "Mommy." She was always "Mom," but regardless the word "Mommy" wasn't really in her vocabulary like "Daddy" was because how often do you refer to yourself in the 3rd person like that?
I guess I am missing something because she constantly makes the mistake of calling herself "Mommy" when speaking to Ellie. Not only that, but she calls me "Grandma" when speaking to Ellie. She does not do it on purpose. She corrects herself whenever she notices it, but she doesn't notice it all the time.
I don't get it. Someone explain why this would make sense.
I guess this makes sense. My mom has spent almost 30 years referring to my dad as "Daddy" and we did the same. I'm not even sure I call him "Dad" on the phone anymore, but I certainly no longer call him "Daddy." Regardless, I can see why it would take my mom some time to adjust when she has 30 years to get passed.
However, I don't understand her issue with "Mommy" and "Grandma." I don't believe we have ever called her by "Mommy." She was always "Mom," but regardless the word "Mommy" wasn't really in her vocabulary like "Daddy" was because how often do you refer to yourself in the 3rd person like that?
I guess I am missing something because she constantly makes the mistake of calling herself "Mommy" when speaking to Ellie. Not only that, but she calls me "Grandma" when speaking to Ellie. She does not do it on purpose. She corrects herself whenever she notices it, but she doesn't notice it all the time.
I don't get it. Someone explain why this would make sense.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Nature vs. Nurture
You know the argument, right? Do our genetics make who we are or do our surroundings define the people we are?
As I get older, no wait... I wonder if I should say "as my mom gets older"... I am constantly surprised at the person my mom is. Don't get me wrong, I think she's an amazing person and I will always think that, but it seems to me that recent years I've seen sides to her that I didn't know existed. Strangely enough, I know I started noticing them when Ellie was born. I wonder if there is something to that.
Anyway, I do wonder how much of it really is my mom, or how much of it is her surroundings. She, of course, claims she hasn't changed and that she's always had these strong opinions, but just never expressed them. From my perspective, the mother I knew growing up was much more open-minded, less judgmental and much more conscious about the impact she has on the world around her (both environmentally and personally). She would strive to be a better person and help those around her.
It's easy for me to assume that the changes are an effect of being married to her husband. He's a wonderful man, but does have some strong opinions that I generally would say disagree with the maternal image I have in my mind for my mother.
So who is right? Was she always like this and I was just a typical child blinded by my absolute admiration for my mother? Or has she changed because of spending so much time with her current husband? Does it matter?
Yes, I feel like it does. I feel like in so many ways I don't really know who my mother is. She'll say something that bothers my husband and when he tells me about it, I'll respond with "Really? my mom said that?" How is it possible that I don't really know who she is?
My husband does the same thing with his father. Whenever his father does something that doesn't fit with his image of his dad while he was growing up, he attributes that to his step-mother's influence. So maybe I'm not alone, and maybe I'm right.
But maybe I'm not. Maybe it is the way my mother has always been. And in so many ways I know I'm like her, in which case it scares me. Am I becoming more and more judgmental as I get older? Maybe it's happening at such a slow pace I don't notice it. Or maybe I do notice it but always justify it? The example that comes to mind is the vaccination issue you've heard me complain about recently. Would I have acted the same way 10 years ago?
I recall my mom telling my sister and me that she never wanted to become her mother, and if we ever saw that happening, we should tell her. My sister and I feel like it's happening, but we're too scared to speak up. We don't want to hurt her feelings.
So is that what's in store for me? Will the day come when I tell Ellie "please let me know if I ever become like Grandma?" and then she'll keep her mouth shut when I do?
I look at how much my mom has had to break away from the traditions her family has had and that gives me hope, but it is still a concern that I wonder about whenever my mother does something that takes me by surprise.
I wonder when I lost that naive impression I had of her. Was it when I became a mother myself, or is that just a coincidence? Anyone else experience something like this?
As I get older, no wait... I wonder if I should say "as my mom gets older"... I am constantly surprised at the person my mom is. Don't get me wrong, I think she's an amazing person and I will always think that, but it seems to me that recent years I've seen sides to her that I didn't know existed. Strangely enough, I know I started noticing them when Ellie was born. I wonder if there is something to that.
Anyway, I do wonder how much of it really is my mom, or how much of it is her surroundings. She, of course, claims she hasn't changed and that she's always had these strong opinions, but just never expressed them. From my perspective, the mother I knew growing up was much more open-minded, less judgmental and much more conscious about the impact she has on the world around her (both environmentally and personally). She would strive to be a better person and help those around her.
It's easy for me to assume that the changes are an effect of being married to her husband. He's a wonderful man, but does have some strong opinions that I generally would say disagree with the maternal image I have in my mind for my mother.
So who is right? Was she always like this and I was just a typical child blinded by my absolute admiration for my mother? Or has she changed because of spending so much time with her current husband? Does it matter?
Yes, I feel like it does. I feel like in so many ways I don't really know who my mother is. She'll say something that bothers my husband and when he tells me about it, I'll respond with "Really? my mom said that?" How is it possible that I don't really know who she is?
My husband does the same thing with his father. Whenever his father does something that doesn't fit with his image of his dad while he was growing up, he attributes that to his step-mother's influence. So maybe I'm not alone, and maybe I'm right.
But maybe I'm not. Maybe it is the way my mother has always been. And in so many ways I know I'm like her, in which case it scares me. Am I becoming more and more judgmental as I get older? Maybe it's happening at such a slow pace I don't notice it. Or maybe I do notice it but always justify it? The example that comes to mind is the vaccination issue you've heard me complain about recently. Would I have acted the same way 10 years ago?
I recall my mom telling my sister and me that she never wanted to become her mother, and if we ever saw that happening, we should tell her. My sister and I feel like it's happening, but we're too scared to speak up. We don't want to hurt her feelings.
So is that what's in store for me? Will the day come when I tell Ellie "please let me know if I ever become like Grandma?" and then she'll keep her mouth shut when I do?
I look at how much my mom has had to break away from the traditions her family has had and that gives me hope, but it is still a concern that I wonder about whenever my mother does something that takes me by surprise.
I wonder when I lost that naive impression I had of her. Was it when I became a mother myself, or is that just a coincidence? Anyone else experience something like this?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Pox party at my house?
Every time I see a post titled something similar to that I tell myself that if Ellie ever gets chicken pox, I'd like to write a post that says:
My daughter has chicken pox. If anyone is interested in a party, sorry. I am not interested in spreading it.
Haha! How tacky is that?
Bad, Reffin. Bad.
My daughter has chicken pox. If anyone is interested in a party, sorry. I am not interested in spreading it.
Haha! How tacky is that?
Bad, Reffin. Bad.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
She's a keeper
This isn't Ellie-related but I need to vent regardless.
I know a guy. Some of you may know who I'm talking about, but please don't say who it is. This guy is in his mid-thirties and up until recently he never had a girlfriend. I always felt bad for the guy and tried to come up with a way to encourage him that he's not the oldest single guy in the world. At the same time, though, I did wonder what type of woman it would take to be with him.
Well he recently got a girlfriend and seems to be very happy. At first he seemed to take things slow because there were things from her past that he didn't like. She had four children. She put two up for adoption and pays alimony to her ex-husband for the other two. She has an STD. I'll admit that I'm not exactly the most educated person when it comes to STDs, and I don't know which one she has, but I do know she has one.
Anyway, it goes without saying that part of me feels like this guy deserves more than this girl. However, I had to admit that it was nice to see him so happy so I liked her.
I recently found out that she cheated on him. She told him and after a few days he decided to forgive her. He figures that she didn't need to tell him and thus he respects her honesty. Again, not my decision to make.
I asked him, though, what it was about this girl he likes. He said things like "she's honest" and "she's a fighter". However, it was a couple minutes later when he said "Want to know how I know she's a keeper? She cuts my toenails."
If you knew this guy, you'd know that's a big deal. I guess every relationship has its defining moments. And I'm trying to remind myself that it's not my place to decide which moments count.
I know a guy. Some of you may know who I'm talking about, but please don't say who it is. This guy is in his mid-thirties and up until recently he never had a girlfriend. I always felt bad for the guy and tried to come up with a way to encourage him that he's not the oldest single guy in the world. At the same time, though, I did wonder what type of woman it would take to be with him.
Well he recently got a girlfriend and seems to be very happy. At first he seemed to take things slow because there were things from her past that he didn't like. She had four children. She put two up for adoption and pays alimony to her ex-husband for the other two. She has an STD. I'll admit that I'm not exactly the most educated person when it comes to STDs, and I don't know which one she has, but I do know she has one.
Anyway, it goes without saying that part of me feels like this guy deserves more than this girl. However, I had to admit that it was nice to see him so happy so I liked her.
I recently found out that she cheated on him. She told him and after a few days he decided to forgive her. He figures that she didn't need to tell him and thus he respects her honesty. Again, not my decision to make.
I asked him, though, what it was about this girl he likes. He said things like "she's honest" and "she's a fighter". However, it was a couple minutes later when he said "Want to know how I know she's a keeper? She cuts my toenails."
If you knew this guy, you'd know that's a big deal. I guess every relationship has its defining moments. And I'm trying to remind myself that it's not my place to decide which moments count.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
More details
Ok, so Cracker's mom has insisted on more details.
Detail this: I'm so tired. LOL.
Actually it comes and goes and it's currently TIRED time for Reffin. Other than that, I don't feel pregnant at all. One way that this pregnancy is already different than my first one with Ellie is that I don't feel myself wanting to announce it to the world. It feels strange to do that before hearing a heart beat. I wonder why I feel that way this time, but not last time.
Regardless, I have my first ultrasound on the 2nd so it's a little less than a week away. My plan is to get the ultrasound, hear the heart beat, gain energy and then go back to writing cute little funny stories like I usually do. That's the plan A. Plan B is to sleep.
A lot of people know I'm pregnant, especially considering the fact that I don't want to announce it to everyone. LOL. Our family knows. Michael's coworkers know. Mine do not. Anyone who reads this blog knows. My two best friends know. The girl who did my pin-up pictures knows. Most of my friends on Facebook or in Maryland do not know.
But that I'm sure brings up the good question of "How did Reffin's sister respond?"
It was poor timing, let me say that much. The Pin-Up photographer offered to do a session for 9 News the day AFTER finding out I was pregnant. My mom knew I was pregnant because she witnessed me fall asleep WHILE IRONING STANDING UP. So I was going to have my pin-up session the following weekend, and it just so happened that my mom was visiting my sister the following Monday. I did not trust my mom enough to NOT say anything. So I decided to tell my sister even though she was already jealous of the pin-up session. So there you have it. I was a mean sister because I had two big things in the same weekend that she was jealous about.
Her reaction? Her first words were "Well fudge!" Then there was a long silence. Then I said "Are you still there?" and she said "I have such mixed feelings about this." I told her I knew she would but that I knew she would never forgive me if she found out from Mom. We hung up the phone. I went to bed. Then she called me at 6 FEAKIN' AM!!!! to tell me that she was very excited for us.
So all in all it was about what I expected. I just wish I was in a better mood right now. I'm so tired and I can't just sleep because of Ellie. So don't mess with Reffin! Rarr!
Detail this: I'm so tired. LOL.
Actually it comes and goes and it's currently TIRED time for Reffin. Other than that, I don't feel pregnant at all. One way that this pregnancy is already different than my first one with Ellie is that I don't feel myself wanting to announce it to the world. It feels strange to do that before hearing a heart beat. I wonder why I feel that way this time, but not last time.
Regardless, I have my first ultrasound on the 2nd so it's a little less than a week away. My plan is to get the ultrasound, hear the heart beat, gain energy and then go back to writing cute little funny stories like I usually do. That's the plan A. Plan B is to sleep.
A lot of people know I'm pregnant, especially considering the fact that I don't want to announce it to everyone. LOL. Our family knows. Michael's coworkers know. Mine do not. Anyone who reads this blog knows. My two best friends know. The girl who did my pin-up pictures knows. Most of my friends on Facebook or in Maryland do not know.
But that I'm sure brings up the good question of "How did Reffin's sister respond?"
It was poor timing, let me say that much. The Pin-Up photographer offered to do a session for 9 News the day AFTER finding out I was pregnant. My mom knew I was pregnant because she witnessed me fall asleep WHILE IRONING STANDING UP. So I was going to have my pin-up session the following weekend, and it just so happened that my mom was visiting my sister the following Monday. I did not trust my mom enough to NOT say anything. So I decided to tell my sister even though she was already jealous of the pin-up session. So there you have it. I was a mean sister because I had two big things in the same weekend that she was jealous about.
Her reaction? Her first words were "Well fudge!" Then there was a long silence. Then I said "Are you still there?" and she said "I have such mixed feelings about this." I told her I knew she would but that I knew she would never forgive me if she found out from Mom. We hung up the phone. I went to bed. Then she called me at 6 FEAKIN' AM!!!! to tell me that she was very excited for us.
So all in all it was about what I expected. I just wish I was in a better mood right now. I'm so tired and I can't just sleep because of Ellie. So don't mess with Reffin! Rarr!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Peeing in a cup: Attempt 2
This time I decided I would wait in the lobby for the results. I wasn't going to go through that phone frustration again. 15 minutes later ***I*** get a call from the nurse with the results. She didn't know I was in the lobby. Go figure.
Positive!
As of right now, the due date is October 15, but that may change with my ultrasound. Regardless, that's over a month after our anniversary... so I think we're good! Ellie will be two days away from 2.5 years old (yeah, right... as if any baby is born on their due date).
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Must sleep. Night night.
Positive!
As of right now, the due date is October 15, but that may change with my ultrasound. Regardless, that's over a month after our anniversary... so I think we're good! Ellie will be two days away from 2.5 years old (yeah, right... as if any baby is born on their due date).
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Must sleep. Night night.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Conclusively frustrating
ME:
I am now frustrated and inconclusively pregnant.
or not.
inconclusive either way.
GABE:
you should conclusify
ME:
I took a test at the doctor's office because they're free and more accurate, right?
Well they gave me a number to call in 45 minutes for the results. Ugh! I just wanted to know in 5 minutes!
45 min later I called and the nurse said that it wasn't in the system yet and she would call me back.
Never happened. Close of business.
Then this morning I called and kept getting routed from person to person and then back to the original number I called.
GABE:
fun!
ME:
After 30 minutes of no luck I decided to try online only to find out I have to wait for a password to be mailed to me in 9-10 business days.
So I called again. Another 30 minutes being transferred back to the original number I called. UGH!!!
FINALLY I talked to someone who was willing to NOT transfer me, but walked to the correct office instead.
She returned with the results.
Inconclusive.
I can pee in a cup again in 48 hours.
GABE:
sounds like an at-home test would be easier
ME:
Definitely.
I'm getting one tonight.
I'm way too moody and tired to deal with that again.
Don't mess with Reffin today.
but at least I know I can repeat the fun if I so desire. LOL.
GABE:
I think you should repeat the fun.
I am now frustrated and inconclusively pregnant.
or not.
inconclusive either way.
GABE:
you should conclusify
ME:
I took a test at the doctor's office because they're free and more accurate, right?
Well they gave me a number to call in 45 minutes for the results. Ugh! I just wanted to know in 5 minutes!
45 min later I called and the nurse said that it wasn't in the system yet and she would call me back.
Never happened. Close of business.
Then this morning I called and kept getting routed from person to person and then back to the original number I called.
GABE:
fun!
ME:
After 30 minutes of no luck I decided to try online only to find out I have to wait for a password to be mailed to me in 9-10 business days.
So I called again. Another 30 minutes being transferred back to the original number I called. UGH!!!
FINALLY I talked to someone who was willing to NOT transfer me, but walked to the correct office instead.
She returned with the results.
Inconclusive.
I can pee in a cup again in 48 hours.
GABE:
sounds like an at-home test would be easier
ME:
Definitely.
I'm getting one tonight.
I'm way too moody and tired to deal with that again.
Don't mess with Reffin today.
but at least I know I can repeat the fun if I so desire. LOL.
GABE:
I think you should repeat the fun.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Helpful Family, Baby 1
Yes, Jen, it's because of you that I am writing this post. However, you're not completely to blame, so don't be too hard on yourself.
The truth is that since Michael and I are starting to try for the next one (shhh! no one knows... lol) then things like this have been on my mind a lot lately. I wonder what things will be different for the next child, which will be better and which will be worse? In the category of "it has to be better next time" I put this:
The plan when Ellie was born was for my mom to come out to be in MD for the birth. She was going to take a long road trip with her sister, we'll call her Aunt B and end up in MD in time for Baby Vincent's arrival. As it turned out, Ellie came early (what? a baby not born on its due date???) and so my mom's long road trip ended up being a rush across the nation. She was four hours late and then had to wait in the lobby another hour for visiting hours to open. Moving on...
This meant that Aunt B had a unplanned week-long vacation in MD because her flight was scheduled the day after the due date (we had to make a guess, didn't we?). During the week my mom and Aunt B cleaned the house from top to bottom. It was very nice to come home from the hospital to a clean house.
I wish I could say the same about coming home to Aunt B visiting. My aunt was bored. She kept insisting that my mom to play Tour Guide and take her places like the Mall in DC or Gettysburg. My poor mom just wanted to spend time with her new grand daughter, but it wasn't until Aunt B decided that she needed a hair cut and wanted Mom to drive her that she finally put her foot down.
I wish I could say that was the only reason Aunt B was hard on us that week.
A little bit of background: During that time, my mom insisted that neither Michael nor I do any work around the house. She did all the dishes, cleaning and laundry. She wanted to be as helpful as possible and I really appreciated her effort.
More background: Breastfeeding did NOT go well for us. I was one of those mothers who was taken by surprise at how difficult it was, thinking that it should be one of the most natural things! Because of this, we didn't want to introduce pacifiers or bottles to the baby until we had the breastfeeding down.
Now for the story: Ellie starts to cry. Mommy and Daddy jump up to go get her, but my mom tells us to sit back down and she would get Ellie this time. We did. She got Ellie and couldn't calm her down. Aunt B wanted to help so she reached for the pacifier and headed towards the baby.
Mommy and Daddy told her that they didn't want pacifiers until breast feeding was going smoothly. Aunt B definitely had the attitude of "I've done this 2 times and I know better than you" so she jammed the pacifier into Ellie's mouth.
Now, I admit that we probably over-reacted. It would not have been a huge deal if the pacifier was in Ellie's mouth for the 30 seconds it would take to calmly walk over and remove it. However, we were tired and sleep deprived. And annoyed.
When Michael reached for the pacifier, Aunt B took it and held it away from it in a "you can't get it" sort of fashion. At this point, Michael storms upstairs and slams the door. I take the baby and try to calm her down.
Aunt B goes upstairs for what I assume is to apologize for her actions. I later found out otherwise.
Aunt B walked into our bedroom (she did not knock but did open the door herself):
Aunt B: You need to calm down.
Michael: Please leave.
Aunt B: I'm not going to leave until you calm down.
Michael: You need to leave.
Aunt B: You're a father now! Act like one. You are a father now and you need to step up and take more responsibility. You haven't been doing any work around the house since you got home. (my mom) has been doing all the dishes and laundry while you've been laid back on the couch. You're a father now and it's time for you to step up and take responsibility as one.
Needless to say Michael had to go for a walk after that.
In the wise words of my friend, Jen: Who does that???
Who says things like that to someone in their own house? Heck, who says something like that in their own MASTER BEDROOM?
Anyway, without lingering on the topic any further, we'll just say that it was a very difficult couple of weeks for us, in more ways than just being new parents. I'm willing to bet, though, that this falls under the category of "It will be better next time" because we're in CO now. Anyone who wants to help, can come over and help, but they also have their own homes to go back for the night. It will make a big difference.
PS. In case it came across that I wasn't thankful for my mom being there, that was not the case at all. I really appreciated everything my mom did for us. It was just the unexpected additional guest that made the house feel very full.
The truth is that since Michael and I are starting to try for the next one (shhh! no one knows... lol) then things like this have been on my mind a lot lately. I wonder what things will be different for the next child, which will be better and which will be worse? In the category of "it has to be better next time" I put this:
The plan when Ellie was born was for my mom to come out to be in MD for the birth. She was going to take a long road trip with her sister, we'll call her Aunt B and end up in MD in time for Baby Vincent's arrival. As it turned out, Ellie came early (what? a baby not born on its due date???) and so my mom's long road trip ended up being a rush across the nation. She was four hours late and then had to wait in the lobby another hour for visiting hours to open. Moving on...
This meant that Aunt B had a unplanned week-long vacation in MD because her flight was scheduled the day after the due date (we had to make a guess, didn't we?). During the week my mom and Aunt B cleaned the house from top to bottom. It was very nice to come home from the hospital to a clean house.
I wish I could say the same about coming home to Aunt B visiting. My aunt was bored. She kept insisting that my mom to play Tour Guide and take her places like the Mall in DC or Gettysburg. My poor mom just wanted to spend time with her new grand daughter, but it wasn't until Aunt B decided that she needed a hair cut and wanted Mom to drive her that she finally put her foot down.
I wish I could say that was the only reason Aunt B was hard on us that week.
A little bit of background: During that time, my mom insisted that neither Michael nor I do any work around the house. She did all the dishes, cleaning and laundry. She wanted to be as helpful as possible and I really appreciated her effort.
More background: Breastfeeding did NOT go well for us. I was one of those mothers who was taken by surprise at how difficult it was, thinking that it should be one of the most natural things! Because of this, we didn't want to introduce pacifiers or bottles to the baby until we had the breastfeeding down.
Now for the story: Ellie starts to cry. Mommy and Daddy jump up to go get her, but my mom tells us to sit back down and she would get Ellie this time. We did. She got Ellie and couldn't calm her down. Aunt B wanted to help so she reached for the pacifier and headed towards the baby.
Mommy and Daddy told her that they didn't want pacifiers until breast feeding was going smoothly. Aunt B definitely had the attitude of "I've done this 2 times and I know better than you" so she jammed the pacifier into Ellie's mouth.
Now, I admit that we probably over-reacted. It would not have been a huge deal if the pacifier was in Ellie's mouth for the 30 seconds it would take to calmly walk over and remove it. However, we were tired and sleep deprived. And annoyed.
When Michael reached for the pacifier, Aunt B took it and held it away from it in a "you can't get it" sort of fashion. At this point, Michael storms upstairs and slams the door. I take the baby and try to calm her down.
Aunt B goes upstairs for what I assume is to apologize for her actions. I later found out otherwise.
Aunt B walked into our bedroom (she did not knock but did open the door herself):
Aunt B: You need to calm down.
Michael: Please leave.
Aunt B: I'm not going to leave until you calm down.
Michael: You need to leave.
Aunt B: You're a father now! Act like one. You are a father now and you need to step up and take more responsibility. You haven't been doing any work around the house since you got home. (my mom) has been doing all the dishes and laundry while you've been laid back on the couch. You're a father now and it's time for you to step up and take responsibility as one.
Needless to say Michael had to go for a walk after that.
In the wise words of my friend, Jen: Who does that???
Who says things like that to someone in their own house? Heck, who says something like that in their own MASTER BEDROOM?
Anyway, without lingering on the topic any further, we'll just say that it was a very difficult couple of weeks for us, in more ways than just being new parents. I'm willing to bet, though, that this falls under the category of "It will be better next time" because we're in CO now. Anyone who wants to help, can come over and help, but they also have their own homes to go back for the night. It will make a big difference.
PS. In case it came across that I wasn't thankful for my mom being there, that was not the case at all. I really appreciated everything my mom did for us. It was just the unexpected additional guest that made the house feel very full.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Did you hear the one where...
Did I ever tell you the story about the family frustration that was the first week or so of Ellie's life? No? Oh, then let me tell you a story...
After these messages, we'll be riiight back!
After these messages, we'll be riiight back!
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