A blast from the past

I met an ex for dinner tonight. Unlike some, our relationship did not end with my heart being broken. Ours ended simply because I realized we were in different places in our lives and did not have anything in common. Though I will always wish the best for him, I believe a good relationship requires a common grounding point.

Anyway, I had dinner with him tonight. It was a spur of the moment thing to do. I am on travel for work and realized that the rock formations outside of my hotel room were the ones next to the restaurant he and I ate at oh so many years ago. I sent him a message saying I was thinking of him and that I hope life was treating him well. Next thing I know he is telling me that he lives close to those rocks and BAM! We're making plans to meet for dinner.

It was good to see him. I told him sincerely that the random times we connect (usually over the phone MAYBE once every 5 years) it makes my day and I end up walking on air for a while.

That being said, every time it also reminds me of how different my life would have been if we had stayed together. OH. MY. GOD. It's simply hard to imagine what it would have been like. So, yes it was nice to see him, but it also reminded me of how amazing my life is with Michael.

This man from my past will always hold a special place in my heart, and Michael is OK with that. I hope that this man, who just turned 50, is able to truly find himself and live a happy life, as I think he has struggled to find meaning in the past. Hearing from him will always put a smile on my face.

But what keeps the smile on my face is knowing that my husband is the one I'm growing old with.

Favorites

Either life is getting less frustrating or I am getting better at dealing with the frustrations, but I certainly don't feel like I need this blog as much as I once did. Can you tell?

Having said that, here is one for you...

I have a guilty confession to make.  I know that parents should not have favorites when it comes to their children but I have to admit that right now that's a challenge for me.

Oh I don't REALLY have a favorite but I do have one who is far more challenging than the other. Maybe it's the age? Part of me hopes that's the case because then it will get better as she moves onto the next stage of childhood. But part of me hopes it's not just the age because then I will have to repeat my frustrations in a couple years from now.

I have occasionally referred to her as my 6 year old teenager and I cringe every time I catch myself doing so. I am a strong believer in children becoming what you say they will become.  Believe me on this: she does not lack kind and encouraging words from those around her, including from me.

But I almost think that's part of the problem. It might be possible to be TOO kind and encouraging.  I wonder sometimes if she feels entitled. She acts as though people will love her no matter what she does.  Think about that for just a moment and I am sure it is easy for you to see both sides of that coin. Is it a good thing that she knows she is unconditionally loved?  Yes, without a doubt.   Is it a bad thing? Yes, I believe so.

Finding that balance between giving a child natural consequences and putting them down is a difficult balance to find. Likewise, giving a child self confidence and self esteem without risking them becoming arrogant, snotty or simply entitled, well that is definitely easier said than done.

We have our good days and our bad days, as I am sure any family does, but when moments like this arise I find myself ever so grateful that she's not an only child.  Not just for my sake but also hers.

Due Credit

"I was disappointed when you posted those videos of the girls singing without giving me any credit for being the reason they know the words in the first place."

Are you kidding me? The purpose of my blog is to simply write about the things that make me smile, as little reminders of why I enjoy being a parent. It gives me something to look back on if and when things become frustrating and stressful.

It is NOT to document every moment of my girls' lives or who gets credit for every bit of knowledge they pick up along the way.

Grrr...

"It's just that I know you print your blog out at the end of the year and at some point, those books are going to go to the girls and they will read about their childhood. I want them to know that Gramma had a big presence in their lives and I don't feel that our relationship is represented in your posts."

Seriously? I am depending on their own memories for that sort of thing. My grandparents were a big part of my life and I knew that without relying on a printed book of memories. If you want to document your relationship with the girls, feel free to do so.

I am trying to make the most of what little time I have. Honestly I cram more into my day than I feel like most people do, and I am constantly wishing for more time. I haven't been focused on my blog like I have in years past, mostly because I am focusing MORE on my other goals. Now when I do blog, and yes it's still important to me that I do, it has to be quick. I don't have time to give references to the material I write about.

Maybe after I'm done focusing on getting a promotion at my "real" job, or making the most of my second business, or making the most of our third business, and getting the kids to bed on time... maybe when I'm done with all that, I will go back and fill in the blanks present in my blog posts.

Then again, maybe I wont. I plan to have other goals to accomplish by then.

Identity

I just have to say, I think it's a little sad that even as I'm trying to teach my girls to do good deeds, I also felt that it was necessary to tell Ellie NOT to write her name on her letters.

Mommy: Use "Ellie" instead.
Ellie: Why?
Mommy: Uh...
Ellie: I want to write my real name so that people know it's me.
Mommy: Oh I know! How about you use your middle name instead?
Ellie: Yeah! That's a good idea!

I suppose all great super heroes need to keep their true identity a secret.

On Rights

I have to admit I can't stand the attitude "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." And with last week's tragedy, there are lots of people posting things like this on Facebook. Unfortunately Facebook doesn't have a "dislike" button. Sure it takes a crazy monster to do what was done last week but put that same crazy monster in a theater with a few knives instead of guns and he would have hurt significantly fewer people. I understand there is a place for guns. People need them to hunt. People need them to protect their homes (not sure I buy into that theory, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt). But people do not need the types of guns that this guy was able to get his hands on. Pure and simple.

But... Guns do not kill people. People kill people.

I think I'm sick.

Sleeping with Gramma

Grrr... The frustration I had after the 2nd night of Addie giving us troubles during bed time and wanting to sleep with us when she has never been one to give us trouble like this before she spent two nights sleeping in Gramma's bed (instead of her own), was ALMOST erased when we found that the cute little sprite had snuck into our room and fallen asleep on our bed while we were watching TV. Melt my heart.

My huband...

My husband is always the "better man." He's the one who always "makes it go right" for whatever reason-du-jour that the situation may have. He does this for me, I'm sure. But you know what? Sometimes I think he shouldn't have to. He said it best: "Sometimes I wish I could be right, rather than always having to justify my opinion, or retract it, or apologize." Sigh. I hope he knows I agree.