Last time I wrote about a comment that my mom made that ticked me off. I don't really mean for this blog to be a venting arena towards the things that my mom does or says, but it certainly seems to be that way.
The other day she went into the closet to get Addie from a nap (she's been sleeping in the closet to keep from waking Ellie up and because she sleeps better in the dark) and she comes back and says (with a smile) "I saw Addie sleeping in her car seat in the dark closet and I couldn't help but think to myself that this has got to be some form of chil_d a_buse."
When I was 8.5 months pregnant, she told me about some nasty stretch marks that my brother's girlfriend has. One, it was tacky to say such things about her because she doesn't have the means to fix the stretch marks she has. People can't control where or how badly they get stretch marks. But, considering the comment - it's not what you say to a super pregnant woman who might be (and happens to be) dealing with a similar issue.
Ugh. Why has my mom become this way? What happened to her?
Could it be the depression? Should I continue with the real purpose of this post?
She once again commented on my attitude about taking care of the baby. She said it out of concern, and I understand that, but she said she was worried about me having postpartum depression. I will admit that I get emotional easily, especially if I'm really tired, but why does she keep having these type of conversations after I just had a bad night with the baby?
I told her that I really did not feel depressed that I was happy, just tired. Her response was, "well, what do you think depression feels like?" in a "Ha, I just proved myself right" sort of tone. Ok, fair enough. She knows better than I do what depression feels like, but surely there is a difference between being tired and being depressed. I would think that you'd first make sure you have no reason to be tired, and then if you still are you'd investigate why.
Addie was up every 30 minutes from 2:00-5:00 AM the previous couple nights. She was only taking 20 minute naps during the day. I was tired. I feel like I have a legitimate reason for just wanting to sleep.
But what do I know? I don't really know anything about depression and I do appreciate her concern. Really.
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2 comments:
Aw. first, hugs. Those comments are pretty grating, it's not you. They'd be enough to MAKE me depressed.
Did you know that extreme fatigue can mimic depression? So even if you ARE, how about it's just like you said, it's because you are *exhausted.* Not because you really have a problem.
People sleep better in the dark - there are all kinds of findings out about how light can inhibit melatonin formation and may even play a role in breast cancer. We're supposed to sleep in the dark. The closet sounds fine for Addie. Child abuse? As long as she's getting enough air and you can hear her, I think it's ok. I totally trust you. I can tell from your blog that you love and adore your kids and I know whatever decisions you make for them, they are fueled with their best interests in mind.
Hang in there & hope you get some sleep this weekend.
From personal and professional experience- sounds like you're tired. And I also agree with spleeness... fatigue can you make you emotional and irritable and well... depressed. But that's different. It goes away after a few good nights- or maybe even one great night's sleep. Depression does not.
Also- treating fatigue with antidepressants doesn't work. Or at least it didn't work for me... but sleep-- ahhh that was the cure to my crankies.
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