She's a keeper

This isn't Ellie-related but I need to vent regardless.

I know a guy. Some of you may know who I'm talking about, but please don't say who it is. This guy is in his mid-thirties and up until recently he never had a girlfriend. I always felt bad for the guy and tried to come up with a way to encourage him that he's not the oldest single guy in the world. At the same time, though, I did wonder what type of woman it would take to be with him.

Well he recently got a girlfriend and seems to be very happy. At first he seemed to take things slow because there were things from her past that he didn't like. She had four children. She put two up for adoption and pays alimony to her ex-husband for the other two. She has an STD. I'll admit that I'm not exactly the most educated person when it comes to STDs, and I don't know which one she has, but I do know she has one.

Anyway, it goes without saying that part of me feels like this guy deserves more than this girl. However, I had to admit that it was nice to see him so happy so I liked her.

I recently found out that she cheated on him. She told him and after a few days he decided to forgive her. He figures that she didn't need to tell him and thus he respects her honesty. Again, not my decision to make.

I asked him, though, what it was about this girl he likes. He said things like "she's honest" and "she's a fighter". However, it was a couple minutes later when he said "Want to know how I know she's a keeper? She cuts my toenails."

If you knew this guy, you'd know that's a big deal. I guess every relationship has its defining moments. And I'm trying to remind myself that it's not my place to decide which moments count.

Blueberry

That's the size of my new baby right now.

More details

Ok, so Cracker's mom has insisted on more details.

Detail this: I'm so tired. LOL.

Actually it comes and goes and it's currently TIRED time for Reffin. Other than that, I don't feel pregnant at all. One way that this pregnancy is already different than my first one with Ellie is that I don't feel myself wanting to announce it to the world. It feels strange to do that before hearing a heart beat. I wonder why I feel that way this time, but not last time.

Regardless, I have my first ultrasound on the 2nd so it's a little less than a week away. My plan is to get the ultrasound, hear the heart beat, gain energy and then go back to writing cute little funny stories like I usually do. That's the plan A. Plan B is to sleep.

A lot of people know I'm pregnant, especially considering the fact that I don't want to announce it to everyone. LOL. Our family knows. Michael's coworkers know. Mine do not. Anyone who reads this blog knows. My two best friends know. The girl who did my pin-up pictures knows. Most of my friends on Facebook or in Maryland do not know.

But that I'm sure brings up the good question of "How did Reffin's sister respond?"

It was poor timing, let me say that much. The Pin-Up photographer offered to do a session for 9 News the day AFTER finding out I was pregnant. My mom knew I was pregnant because she witnessed me fall asleep WHILE IRONING STANDING UP. So I was going to have my pin-up session the following weekend, and it just so happened that my mom was visiting my sister the following Monday. I did not trust my mom enough to NOT say anything. So I decided to tell my sister even though she was already jealous of the pin-up session. So there you have it. I was a mean sister because I had two big things in the same weekend that she was jealous about.

Her reaction? Her first words were "Well fudge!" Then there was a long silence. Then I said "Are you still there?" and she said "I have such mixed feelings about this." I told her I knew she would but that I knew she would never forgive me if she found out from Mom. We hung up the phone. I went to bed. Then she called me at 6 FEAKIN' AM!!!! to tell me that she was very excited for us.

So all in all it was about what I expected. I just wish I was in a better mood right now. I'm so tired and I can't just sleep because of Ellie. So don't mess with Reffin! Rarr!

Peeing in a cup: Attempt 2

This time I decided I would wait in the lobby for the results. I wasn't going to go through that phone frustration again. 15 minutes later ***I*** get a call from the nurse with the results. She didn't know I was in the lobby. Go figure.

Positive!

As of right now, the due date is October 15, but that may change with my ultrasound. Regardless, that's over a month after our anniversary... so I think we're good! Ellie will be two days away from 2.5 years old (yeah, right... as if any baby is born on their due date).

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Must sleep. Night night.

Conclusively frustrating

ME:
I am now frustrated and inconclusively pregnant.

or not.

inconclusive either way.

GABE:
you should conclusify

ME:
I took a test at the doctor's office because they're free and more accurate, right?

Well they gave me a number to call in 45 minutes for the results. Ugh! I just wanted to know in 5 minutes!

45 min later I called and the nurse said that it wasn't in the system yet and she would call me back.

Never happened. Close of business.

Then this morning I called and kept getting routed from person to person and then back to the original number I called.

GABE:
fun!

ME:
After 30 minutes of no luck I decided to try online only to find out I have to wait for a password to be mailed to me in 9-10 business days.

So I called again. Another 30 minutes being transferred back to the original number I called. UGH!!!

FINALLY I talked to someone who was willing to NOT transfer me, but walked to the correct office instead.

She returned with the results.

Inconclusive.

I can pee in a cup again in 48 hours.

GABE:
sounds like an at-home test would be easier

ME:
Definitely.

I'm getting one tonight.

I'm way too moody and tired to deal with that again.

Don't mess with Reffin today.

but at least I know I can repeat the fun if I so desire. LOL.

GABE:
I think you should repeat the fun.

Helpful Family, Baby 1

Yes, Jen, it's because of you that I am writing this post. However, you're not completely to blame, so don't be too hard on yourself.

The truth is that since Michael and I are starting to try for the next one (shhh! no one knows... lol) then things like this have been on my mind a lot lately. I wonder what things will be different for the next child, which will be better and which will be worse? In the category of "it has to be better next time" I put this:

The plan when Ellie was born was for my mom to come out to be in MD for the birth. She was going to take a long road trip with her sister, we'll call her Aunt B and end up in MD in time for Baby Vincent's arrival. As it turned out, Ellie came early (what? a baby not born on its due date???) and so my mom's long road trip ended up being a rush across the nation. She was four hours late and then had to wait in the lobby another hour for visiting hours to open. Moving on...

This meant that Aunt B had a unplanned week-long vacation in MD because her flight was scheduled the day after the due date (we had to make a guess, didn't we?). During the week my mom and Aunt B cleaned the house from top to bottom. It was very nice to come home from the hospital to a clean house.

I wish I could say the same about coming home to Aunt B visiting. My aunt was bored. She kept insisting that my mom to play Tour Guide and take her places like the Mall in DC or Gettysburg. My poor mom just wanted to spend time with her new grand daughter, but it wasn't until Aunt B decided that she needed a hair cut and wanted Mom to drive her that she finally put her foot down.

I wish I could say that was the only reason Aunt B was hard on us that week.

A little bit of background: During that time, my mom insisted that neither Michael nor I do any work around the house. She did all the dishes, cleaning and laundry. She wanted to be as helpful as possible and I really appreciated her effort.

More background: Breastfeeding did NOT go well for us. I was one of those mothers who was taken by surprise at how difficult it was, thinking that it should be one of the most natural things! Because of this, we didn't want to introduce pacifiers or bottles to the baby until we had the breastfeeding down.

Now for the story: Ellie starts to cry. Mommy and Daddy jump up to go get her, but my mom tells us to sit back down and she would get Ellie this time. We did. She got Ellie and couldn't calm her down. Aunt B wanted to help so she reached for the pacifier and headed towards the baby.

Mommy and Daddy told her that they didn't want pacifiers until breast feeding was going smoothly. Aunt B definitely had the attitude of "I've done this 2 times and I know better than you" so she jammed the pacifier into Ellie's mouth.

Now, I admit that we probably over-reacted. It would not have been a huge deal if the pacifier was in Ellie's mouth for the 30 seconds it would take to calmly walk over and remove it. However, we were tired and sleep deprived. And annoyed.

When Michael reached for the pacifier, Aunt B took it and held it away from it in a "you can't get it" sort of fashion. At this point, Michael storms upstairs and slams the door. I take the baby and try to calm her down.

Aunt B goes upstairs for what I assume is to apologize for her actions. I later found out otherwise.

Aunt B walked into our bedroom (she did not knock but did open the door herself):
Aunt B: You need to calm down.
Michael: Please leave.
Aunt B: I'm not going to leave until you calm down.
Michael: You need to leave.
Aunt B: You're a father now! Act like one. You are a father now and you need to step up and take more responsibility. You haven't been doing any work around the house since you got home. (my mom) has been doing all the dishes and laundry while you've been laid back on the couch. You're a father now and it's time for you to step up and take responsibility as one.

Needless to say Michael had to go for a walk after that.

In the wise words of my friend, Jen: Who does that???

Who says things like that to someone in their own house? Heck, who says something like that in their own MASTER BEDROOM?

Anyway, without lingering on the topic any further, we'll just say that it was a very difficult couple of weeks for us, in more ways than just being new parents. I'm willing to bet, though, that this falls under the category of "It will be better next time" because we're in CO now. Anyone who wants to help, can come over and help, but they also have their own homes to go back for the night. It will make a big difference.


PS. In case it came across that I wasn't thankful for my mom being there, that was not the case at all. I really appreciated everything my mom did for us. It was just the unexpected additional guest that made the house feel very full.

Did you hear the one where...

Did I ever tell you the story about the family frustration that was the first week or so of Ellie's life? No? Oh, then let me tell you a story...

After these messages, we'll be riiight back!