M-I-C? K-E-Y? MOUSE!

Last week Grandma was nice enough to watch Ellie while I ran some errands. They love spending time together. As it turns out, I returned from my errands right as they were getting ready for bed, so I camped out on the stairs listening to the two of them together (a rare opportunity for me).

Things were going very sweetly at first. Grandma was reading her a book and singing songs to her. Then suddenly things changed dramatically...

Grandma: OH $#!+ there's a mouse! Oh my god! Oh, Ellie, you didn't hear Grandma say that. Oh my god! There's a mouse! Ok, calm down Ellie. It's ok.

Seconds pass

Grandma: OH S#!+ it can jump! Oh my god it can jump high! Did you see that, Ellie? Oh $#!+. Shhhh... don't tell Mommy you heard me say that. What do we do?

Seconds pass

Grandma: Mommy? Are you home?

At this point it became apparent that Ellie would not continue being sweet until Mommy came to her rescue. There is something about knowing that Mommy is around that brings out the fussy side in this child.

Mommy: Where's the mouse?

Grandma: He jumped all the way into the hamper?

Mommy: Wow! He can jump high. Here, take the hamper outside.

Mommy starts to put Ellie down for bed. Meanwhile, in the distance we hear:

Grandma: Oh! Oh! Ahh! Oh my God. $#!+ $#!+

All the neighborhood dogs: Bark! Bark! Bark!

Ellie (still laying down with her eyes closed): Oof! Oof!

So Grandma is afraid of mice? Who knew? According to Daddy, it's completely out of character.

We'll keep this one to ourselves

Uncle J can be a little sensitive about certain things, but it won't stop me from sharing!

Ellie: Ma Ma!
Daddy: Yeah, that's Mommy in the picture. Who is that?
Ellie: Da da.
Daddy: Good job. Who is that?
Ellie: Na Na!
Daddy: Yep, that's Aunt Erin. Who's that?
Ellie: Gapa!
Daddy: No, that's not Grandpa, that's Uncle J!

Name calling

I've recently posted a question about whether or not I should say something to daycare for using "Lori" as a nickname for Ellie. As a result, I had a conversation with Michael about it and it turns out that even "Ellie" bothers him.

When we first came up with her name, we liked it because we could use "Ellie" as a family nickname. Michael liked that idea until "strangers" didn't know her real name. The real connection was this:

Ellie and I stayed with my sister and brother-in-law for a month when we first moved back to CO. Aunt Erin calls her Ellie. My brother-in-law's sister was living with them so she called her Ellie. Then at Aunt Erin's graduation dinner, the parents of the sister of the brother-in-law didn't know Ellie's real name. In fact, they thought that Ellie WAS her name. This bothered me, but it REALLY bothered Michael.

Since then I have tried to tell my family that we like them using Ellie, but to introduce her by her full name. But the damage has already been done. Apparently whenever he hears "Ellie" he cringes and wonders if the person even really knows her full name. He admits that it's not logical because he knows that Grandma knows her full name, yet he has the same thought whenever he hears her say Ellie. Same goes for Grandpa.

He also admits that it's probably something that just needs to take some time to get used to. Much like it will take me time to get used to people calling her Lori long before she's mature enough to be a Lori. I guess in the end, I now understand what other parents were saying when they got upset that people don't use their children's full names. Thank goodness we didn't have a boy and named him Harrison, even though Grandma insisted no one uses the name Harry anymore. LOL.

A on-going UGH

Posted by a fellow Boulder-Mom:

I dropped off the list for a while, and there has probably been a
flood of chicken pox in my absence... but just to say I am still on
the hunt for infection - and still willing to do whatever I can (host
a tea party!) to pass it on...

Tough Decisions

Michael and I have had a couple tough conversations in the last week regarding my dad drinking again. The problem is that 1. He's drinking again (duh) and 2. He's really good at hiding how much he's had to drink. So after a lot of tough consideration, we finally came to the conclusion that things need to change.

We were hoping that we would be able to leave Ellie with Pappy and Grammie occasionally so that we could go visit places like Branson, MO. However that's not possible anymore. Unfortunately we decided that due to Pappy drinking again, some things have to change.

1. We will not leave her alone with him for any long duration of time. It's not that I think Pappy would do anything to hurt her, but I wouldn't trust anyone who has been drinking to take care of her.

2. We will not allow him to drive with us in the car. Can you imagine how torn up the family would be if something were to happen to Ellie while he was driving? From now on, we drive. Period.

Seriously, the problem stems from the fact that we won't ever really know how much he has been drinking. I think it's unfortunate for us to need to resort to these decisions, but I also think it's a no-brain-er.

On a slightly unrelated topic, I recently became friends with someone who is dealing with the same thing, only locally. Her mother-in-law started drinking again, and she had to take away her weekly afternoon with the grandkids. At least I don't have to deal with it on a regular basis. I only have to worry about it on the occasional times that we are fortunate enough to see Pappy. It could be worse.

Life examples

I always figured that part of the reason I don't smoke, nor do my siblings or cousins (on my dad's side) was because we saw what my grandpa went through. Apparently the family thought he was near the end when I went to visit him as a newborn. Every year we'd go and see them and would be told "Now kids, this may be the last time we see Grandpa." I guess since we were told so often, we never really believed it. Maybe death is always a surprise. Anyway, he finally ended up passing when I was a Sophomore in college. What a long, drawn-out painful death.

I know he affected my decision to not smoke and I've never lit a single cigarette, nor have I even come close to wanting to. However, I've wondered what it will be like for my children. They won't have a grandpa to show them the dangers of cigarettes.

But I guess they will have one to show them the dangers of alcoholism. Grandpa has started drinking again. As a disclaimer, I should say that it is only on "special occasions" (according to him) and that it's not a problem right now. Key words are "right now". I guess only time will tell where it will end up. Am I a horrible person if I say that on the bright side, my children will have an example of the dangers of alcohol?

Yes. I think I may be.

Moody Ellie

I'm not really sure what to do about this, so I've decided to vent about it as a solution. =)

Grandma has a habit that bothers me, though I'm not really sure why.

There really is no doubt that Ellie is getting closer and closer to the "terrible twos" because she has started to do things like refuse to get dressed, or stay still during a diaper change. It's all normal, I'm sure, and I'm trying to introduce choices in her daily routine in hopes of helping the situation. So far, it isn't anything major, very few actual break downs. She just usually complains and twists and turns a lot.

So what does this have to do with Grandma? It's her comments that bother me.

"Hey, there is no need for that!"
Yes, there is a need. She doesn't want to get dressed. She doesn't want to stop playing to get her diaper changed. She doesn't want to eat a banana, she'd rather eat peaches but she doesn't know how to tell you. There is always a *need* for a toddler's reactions. I'm sure it's frustrating for them to have these feelings of independence without being able to express them.

"Boy, you're a grump today!"
Yes, but do you need to bring more attention to it? I find that children will be what you say they are (something I learned from Grandma) and if you say they're a grump, they will stay that way. The quicker I change the subject and move on to the next activity, the quicker her attitude changes.

"You are a strong willed, little monster, aren't you?"
See comment above.

"I don't think I like you when you're grumpy."
You don't like her? You DON'T LIKE her? No, say something like "I don't like this behavior" but not "her!" Granted, Grandma usually fixes this in her next sentence or two, but the damage I think is already done.

Everything Grandma says is true. It is hard to deal with her at time and she can be a grump. So that's why I don't know what to say, because it bothers me when she makes comments like that, but I feel like I can not fault her in saying the thoughts we're all thinking.