Too many people, too little time

One of the most frustrating things about parenthood is the lack of time. There just isn't enough time in the day to spend as much as I want with Ellie, let alone anyone else. Since Ellie came along, "Family first" has become a regular motto for us to live by. We try to allow Ellie to spend as much time with family members as possible.

So when do I get the time to maintain or develop the friendships I crave for myself?

I'd love to spend more time with the friends I've had forever, but it's hard to do because they're in different places with their lives right now. That's not a bad thing. It's just a fact.

I'd also love to spend more time developing new friendships with people I've recently met (and think are fantastic), who happen to have children the same age as Ellie. In theory, if we were to become closer then it would be easier to hang out because our kids could play together as well. Theory is always so optimistic, isn't it?

And what about those who I should be seeing out of obligation? As it turns out, I have quite a few cousins and aunts who live in the area. I haven't seen many of them for years and years, but I'm obligated to, aren't I?

And that damn Facebook thing. I've had so many people return into my life who I really didn't intend to deal with. Many people who I used to be great friends with, I've assumed still lived out East. As it turns out, though, they're all back in Boulder! Shouldn't I catch up with them? We were once really close.

Seriously, how does one choose? I guess I just have to suck it up and admit that there isn't enough time for everyone, and hopefully those who I deem to be "less worthy" will understand.

I wonder if this would still be an issue if my sister lived near by. I feel like I crave an extremely close friendship with another woman. I haven't had that in so long, but I feel like it's something I need. Is that strange?

But seriously, there are just too many people I want to keep in touch with. Here is the list of people who, up until recently, I had every intention of meeting up with (in no particular order):

- The two great gals I've been friends with since high school
- My old room mate has moved back from the East coast
- Old high school friends who are now Mommies and it would be great to catch up
- Mommy friend who has a bunch of scrap book material she's trying to sell
- New fantastic Mommy friend who has a great personality and we just "clicked"
- Step sister who lives in town
- New Mommy and her neighbor who we bonded over frustrations with Boulder moms
- Mommy friends who I met through scrap-booking. Again, we just clicked
- Old college friend who is back from DC and now has a little girl
- New friend who I met through multiple separate connections
- Friends I've met through my husband - some of who actually have kids too
- Midwife from MD now lives in this area and also has a baby
- Cousins (I think there are 5 who live in the area)
- Another Mommy friend we met through daycare
- Ellie's best friend's Mom (at least our daughters are great friends)
- The person who is renting my sister's house (great gal)

And that's not even including the bridesmaid from my wedding, who I would love to hear from again to know everything is ok in her life.

I just don't have enough time, but I don't know how to choose which relationships to nurture. And even if I did choose, it seems like I just don't have the time or energy to initiate getting together on my own, and who would want to deal with that?

Ok. I'm rambling too much now, especially since most of the people who read this blog are included in the list above. Please don't feel bad. Chances are you have nothing to fear. =)